As Seen On TV (Not)

(Children on ladders: a typical shocking Mardi Gras parade sight)

Everything on TV is not real.

I think most people know this, but some people apparently do not.

Now, there is the unreality of animation vs. live actors, the unreality of fiction vs. documentary, and then there's the unreality of the way the media distorts and presents its own version of reality either for the purposes of some agenda, or (more often) in order to sell tennis shoes and soft drinks.

It is the latter part that I want to focus on.

On Ash Wednesday, one of my parishioners came to me irate. He showed me a devotion that someone (a pastor) had written for February 5. This year, February 5 was the day before Ash Wednesday. In many parts of the country, it's called Shrove Tuesday, and there is often the custom of eating pancakes as a last indulgence in a feast before the fasting of Lent. Owing to the French heritage of people in South Louisiana, in my community, Shrove Tuesday is called Mardi Gras - which is French for Fat Tuesday. Mardi Gras is the pinnacle of a mini-season called Carnival (from the Latin: carni vale, or "farewell of meat"). We don't have pancake breakfasts, but rather have parades. In fact, in New Orleans, the parades run throughout the Carnival season - which begins on Epiphany (January 6) and runs until Mardi Gras.

Parades in New Orleans are in some ways similar to other parades - like the Parade of Roses in Pasadena, or the Macy's Parade in New York. However, they are different in a few ways too. For one thing, the float riders often wear masks and throw things to the crowds - candy, stuffed animals, plastic cups, toys of various kinds, and strings of beads. On St. Patrick's Day, the riders toss out cabbages, potatoes, onions, and carrots. On the Feast of St. Patrick, you can actually make soup from parade "throws".

New Orleans Carnival parades are entirely run and funded by private clubs - called "krewes." Many of them have tongue-in-cheek names that sound like secret societies. Families have been involved in the krewes for generations. The last two weeks of Carnival feature parades and balls all over New Orleans and the surrounding communities (there were 59 parades this year!). Typically, schools shut down the entire week of Mardi Gras (though Salem Lutheran School only had Monday through Wednesday off this year). This is a huge time of tourism and goodwill for our community. Hundreds of thousands of guests from all over the world stream into New Orleans and vicinity for the Carnival events.

Mardi Gras is fun, and overwhelmingly family-oriented. It is a Christian festival, as it is tied to the Church calendar, and is a part of the cycle of feast and fast (even the colors of Mardi Gras are the liturgical colors of Epiphany, Lent, and Easter). Families and friends gather to watch the parades, to talk, to sing, to dance, to eat scrumptious foods, to enjoy one another's company, and to just plain have a good time. This seems foreign to a lot of people who live "up north" (of course, to us, "up north" can mean Southern Mississippi...).

Of course, much of the country hears "Mardi Gras" and they think of something entirely different. In the French Quarter, and more specifically on Bourbon Street (where, incidentally, there are no parades), you will indeed find activities that are not "family friendly" - just as you will find pretty much anywhere in the country. And that's the specific place you have to go in order to find the off-color stuff. However, the Mardi Gras parades (only two of which even go through the Quarter at all, and one of them is a parade for dogs), have nothing to do with indecency.

In fact, children are everywhere lining the parade routes - many in homemade boxes mounted to ladders so they can be seen high above the crowds to catch toys, candies, and beads (instructions here). Thousands of children and their families look forward to Carnival every year. Some families even camp out on the "neutral ground" (the median to the rest of the county) overnight in order to get a good spot. Very few children (and very few adults, for that matter) in New Orleans don't participate in the parades - at least to some degree. They are good clean fun, and are part of our unique culture.

However, the pastor who authored the devotion, who obviously has never actually seen a Mardi Gras parade in his life, who has likely never set foot in New Orleans, probably has never eaten crawfish, boudin, or alligator, may think a "po boy" is a young man who lacks money, and who admits that his only understanding of Mardi Gras comes from TV and the Internet - decided to use us as an object lesson about sin. He writes: "Now it's time to get serious about sin. As if."

Thanks a lot, guy.

He writes: "Today is Fat Tuesday. Maybe I'm just a young curmudgeon, but the celebration leaves me cold. Every year, news broadcasts show the Mardi Gras parties and carnival parades, but they're hardly family fare."

At this point, some of my parishioners are reading this, rolling on the floor and laughing at the silly stereotypical Yankee know-it-all who believes everything he sees on TV. Others are really insulted, not exactly thrilled to be denounced by a bloviating outsider whose ignorance is fueled by the idiot box, yet who has been published in a popular devotional booklet.

I would love this pastor to tell me exactly which parade is "hardly family fare." Which one? Can he even name one of the parades? What qualifies this pastor to make this pronouncement?

I wrote to my brother pastor. I sent him a good natured note, explained to him where he was wrong, and even invited him and his family to come to New Orleans for Mardi Gras in the future so he could experience it for himself.

His response was a big disappointment. It was snotty. He addressed me stiffly as "Pastor Beane" (there's an unwritten rule that the clergy are on a first name basis with each other). He stands by his "research."

Research. Goodness! We actually live here! But he has been doing "research" from two thousand miles away. Right. And what is this research? He cites "news broadcasts" and "various media." Uh-huh. He explains, "research indicates that Mardi Gras/Carnival are 'popular as a way to feast and act wild before the somber days of Lent,' in the words of one website." Yes. "In the words of one website." One website. He really said this! O Lord, have mercy! A website. Various media. Research. Enough expertly-mined data to condemn everyone in my congregation - not to mention in our community. I guess he knows what he's talking about. And thanks to his published writing, a lot of other "experts" on Mardi Gras are sure to crop up like termites on a shotgun (which in this context is a house, not a weapon).

He opines: "The 'farewell to the flesh' is not penitence, but is usually portrayed to the world as an indulgence in lust, drunkenness, and revelry. Personally, I cannot reconcile that to Romans 13:13-14; and perhaps it is only my concience [sic], but I cannot reconcile Carnival's 'farewell to the flesh' with the Lord's means of grace, where the Old Adam is bade farewell and the new creation raised up." Uh, Padre, "farewell to the flesh" ("das Fleisch" auf Deutsch) means we're preparing to say goodbye to eating meat. It's called "fasting."

This from a guy that's been in New Orleans as much as I have been in Indonesia. But he did see it on TV - the same venue where one can learn about Ron Popeel's Pocket Fisherman and catch a special about UFOs. Amazing.

What I'm having a problem reconciling is this pastor's misinformed opinion and devotional pontification that is at odds with the eighth commandment. He owes us an apology for hurting our reputation. I asked for one, but was rebuffed. I'm sorry, but the vast majority who catch beads at parades are simply not involved in: "indulgence in lust, drunkenness, and revelry" (his words) - even if a website and a TV reporter told him so. Huge numbers are children. Most are there with their families. That's just reality.

He then masked his insulting e-mail by peppering it with the usual blah-blah-blah of Lutheran jargon: "weaker brother... Christian freedom... bind their consciences..." This all sounds very pious and Sufficiently Lutheran, but it is a damnable lie just the same. We are not a bunch of drunks and whores. We enjoy food, drink, dancing, friends, family, pageantry, beautiful weather, fellowship with others, and the joyful expression of the Christian concept of feasting and celebrating God's good creation. That is not sinful.

But all of these things are repugnant to a particular strain of Christianity known as Pietism, which equates the Christian faith with a dour and joyless view of the Christian life. Pietism condemns drinking, dancing, card playing, and anything that tastes good as somehow sinful. Pietism was a movement that originated within Lutheranism in the 17th century which (on the good side) sought to repudiate lawlessness and taking the Gospel for granted, but (on the bad side) became Pharisaical, self-righteous, joyless, oppressive, and drab. It downplayed the sacraments by spiritualizing the faith - which leads to a dualistic (and Gnostic) condemnation of the physical world. Pietism brought the world the plain cross and prohibition. Pietists do not approve of Mardi Gras.

However, there is nothing wrong with taking pleasure in God's physical creation. The Christian life is meant to be joyful and celebratory - especially in the times of year that are festival in nature.

Of course, we alternate between festival and penitential seasons. And in the French Quarter at midnight on Mardi Gras, sirens blow, the police clear the streets, and the festival comes to an abrupt end out of respect for the Christian tradition of Ash Wednesday. The next morning, you'll see New Orleanians far and wide covered with the ashen crosses on their foreheads - something you probably won't see on Entertainment Tonight.

The fasting of Lent stands in abject contrast to the feasting of Carnival. The somber gray of Ash Wednesday is the other side of the coin to the garish colors of Fat Tuesday. Feast and Fast. Celebration and sackcloth. To everything there is a season...

The world doesn't get it. Apparently some Christians (and even pastors) don't get it either. Apparently some folks can't discern that reality is a whole lot bigger than what's on TV.

If you want to learn about the Christian faith, TBN is not representative - even though it speaks with the authority of "as seen on TV." Benny Hinn does not epitomize Christian preachers. And a few coeds and tourists pulling up their shirts don't define the Christian time of year known as Carnival. If someone wants to learn about New Orleans and our customs, there are plenty of us you can ask. Those Girls Gone Wild videos were never intended to be an objective and all-inclusive look at one of the greatest cities in North America any more than the Sopranos is a genuine snapshot into what being an Italian-American is. Just because something is on TV...

Hopefully, this pastor will repent of his prejudice, bias, and trashing of our reputation as a form of "devotion." Lent is a good time for repentance. And so is any time. But then when Easter comes, we will once more feast and celebrate, and will not be ashamed for doing so.

In honor of our Blessed Lord's resurrection, we will recite the ancient liturgical verse anew: "Laissez les bons temps rouler!" even as we look forward to bons temps without end.

Typical Mardi Gras paraders, obviously an "indulgence in lust, drunkenness, and revelry"