Blood-sucking Parasites and Ubiquitous Pests

Mosquitoes are blood-sucking parasites that have been causing mankind grief since the fall in the Garden of Eden.

Most of the time, mosquitoes are annoying.  They buzz around and sometimes manage to bite.  They inflict a small amount of venom.  Their wounds itch and cause a rash.  And we get drawn into a tit-for-tat game with them, appealing to the market to rid us of the pests.

Occasionally, the destruction caused by these evil little beasts is more than a little itching and a bit of lost blood.  Sometimes the little buggers are fatal.  And when they are, they can be a veritable plague of biblical proportions.

Now here is an example of the just how ubiquitous the pests are.

While enjoying the tail end of a delightful collection of essays by Murray Rothbard ("The Irrepressible Rothbard"), I decided to sit on the porch swing outside.  Preparing to meet the parasites head on, I asked my wife for the ingenious little Off! Clip On device that repels the pests.  The gadget needed a refill.  She glanced at the instructions, and immediately after the rubric "Directions for use" we learned the following:

"It is a violation of Federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling.  Read and follow all directions and precautions on this product label."

Wow.

I know about the dire consequences of tearing of mattress tags, I remember the oft-told childhood warning about the protected federal status of praying mantises, I'm also aware of the dire consequences of a U.S. flag touching the ground, and was once told that using a gym treadmill without the little safety clip was a "violation of Federal law" - but this label thing was a new one for me.

How wonderful of the Senate and the House of Representatives, the Office of the President and the Supreme Court of the United States of America to take interest in little old me, protecting me from myself from potentially misusing "this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling."  My gosh, what would we ever do without our dear Honorable Members and Commander-in-Chief to keep us from using "this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling"?  Can you just imagine the chaos, the horrific consequences if the Federal Government had not stepped in?  I mean, the State of Louisiana and the City of Gretna would have been paralyzed, crippled from protecting me from "use... inconsistent with its labeling" - not to mention my own common sense.  What would we ever do without bureaucrats - especially Federal Officials - to save us from the illegal scourge of "inconsistent" use?

I might have wedged the package of refills under my door as a door stop.  I might have used the thin envelope as a book mark.  I might have taped the packing to the wall as a form of pop-art.  Thanks be to God for Washington, DC for protecting hapless citizens like myself who are obviously at the mercy of the evil S.C. Johnson Company.  Without the Federal Government, who knows what might have happened to me this evening!  One shudders just to think of it.

And of course it goes without saying that the Interstate Commerce Clause and the General Welfare Clause empowers Washington, DC to have jurisdiction over how I use my little packet of Off! refills on my own property.  Never mind that I am not selling it, not crossing state lines with it, nor am I a member of the armed forces.  Never mind the 9th and 10th amendments.  Never mind that there is nothing in the Constitution granting the federal government jurisdiction over mosquito repellent being used on a private citizen's front porch.

Come to think of it, maybe mosquitoes are not the only "blood-sucking parasites that have been causing mankind grief since the fall in the Garden of Eden."

Maybe it is not only the mosquitoes that can be described thus: "Most of the time, are annoying.  They buzz around and sometimes manage to bite.  They inflict a small amount of venom.  Their wounds itch and cause a rash.  And we get drawn into a tit-for-tat game with them, appealing to the market to rid us of the pests."

Maybe this applies to other institutions besides mosquitoes: "Occasionally, the destruction caused by these evil little beasts is more than a little itching and a bit of lost blood.  Sometimes the little buggers are fatal.  And when they are, they can be a veritable plague of biblical proportions."

Indeed, maybe mosquitoes are not the only ubiquitous pests.