Down with Big Brother and the Routine Republic!

(The above YouTube has the soundtrack edited out, probably because of a copyright issue.  But you can find the original here on Vimeo).

Well done, Taco Bell!

This delightful ad campaign works on many levels.

It's a jab at the ubiquity and uniformity of McDonald's, drawing a comparison between the fast food giant and the drab, uninspiring, staid life of Iron Curtain Eastern Europe and the Soviet Union.  The commercial is cheeky and awash in 1980s imagery.  Even the use of the punk-retro Ramones tune "Blitzkrieg Bop" (1976) during the Keystone Cops-like chase scene is a bit of nostalgia to people who remember the fall of the Berlin Wall and the collapse of European Communism.

The commercial pays homage to dystopic literature, in particular, George Orwell's 1984, especially with the throwback cathode-ray TVs blaring out mind-numbing technologically-backward propaganda.  We see a contrast between the dreary East-Berlinish skyline of Soviet-era concrete apartment blocks in stressful uniform rigidity over and against the beautiful, colorful, relaxed European scene of freedom and vibrancy at the end of the short.  And yet, the commercial manages to invoke dystopia in a lighthearted way, with the dictators and apparatchiks appropriately portrayed as Ronald McDonaldesque clowns, with frequent humorous visual references to Mickey Dee's culture as the little story progresses.

Brilliant!

Dystopia is an important genre.  1984, Brave New World, Fahrenheit 451, Atlas Shrugged, and others promote a worldview of liberty in describing a futuristic world of repression.  These novels serve us as Jacob Marley's ghost to Ebeneezer Scrooge, a warning of what is to come unless we recover the "eternal vigilance" that Jefferson taught us is the price of liberty.  And in addition to these classics, a good bit of modern literature aimed at young people falls within the realm of dystopia.  These works have much in common, holding up for our examination the reality of original sin, manifest as the desire of one person to control another, and of this "lust for domination" (per St. Augustine) to magnify itself in groups, hence the inherent danger of government and of the state.  These novels also typically show the contrast between the classical liberal and libertarian respect for individual life and spontaneous liberty, as opposed to  the totalitarian collectivist impulse toward Marxist economics and top-down thought-control.  The latter promotes a worldview that sees individual human beings as cogs in a wheel without rights, without purpose other than to aggrandize the state and serve party masters.

The commercial depicts these themes, even to the point of the heroes of the story, the defecting rebels, being a young man and a young woman.  This is a common theme of dystopia, as hope of beating back the seemingly invincible apparatus of the totalitarian state lies in youth, in those willing to recklessly risk all for the sake of freedom and love, and it is the love between a man and a woman that leads to children, to new generations of those who will join the generational fight for freedom.  Love is the antithesis of the totalitarian state.  Love provides the impetus for freedom of association, which in turn drives the rebels to seek ways to outsmart the monolithic oppressive dinosaur by using whatever means necessary: technology, low-tech covert communication, tying up the state in bureaucracy (as heroic Soviet dissidents like Vladimir Bukovsky did - see his must-read To Build a Castle), and voluntarily working together as a team in order to promote the individual (which is anathema to the totalitarian state).

The climax of the story takes place at a wall, very much like the seemingly permanent structure that rent Berlin into two - into a free West and a captive East - from 1961-1989.  There is a hole in this wall, a portal to freedom.  It is covered by propaganda in the form of posters lauding the philosophy of the state.  But there is a hole in the wall, indicated by a piece of graffiti, a spray-painted hexagon on one of the state's posters, that has become the symbol of rebellion against the Routine Republic.  And as the couple rushes through the opening, they find freedom and humane civilization.

On the other side, they find color and youth and happiness and spontaneity.  They find diversity and joy and life apart from the stifling and stultifying cradle-to-grave Big Brother.

Another theme of this three minute mini-movie is propaganda.  Every oppressive regime relies heavily on propaganda, on controlling access to information, be it the printing press, radio broadcasting, television news, or the Internet.  People of every time and place do well to always be suspicious of any government that would seek to regulate any aspect of the press and communications.

Part of what makes the commercial work is the idea of breaking free of a routine.  Of course, in real life, nobody is forced to eat at McDonald's or to submit to an every-day same-same routine of an Egg McMuffin.  But in the dystopian real-world economics of Marxist regimes, centrally-planned by bureaucrats and party functionaries, people are left with soul-crushing imposed sameness and drab routine.  A centrally-planned economy in which people are not free to start businesses, invest capital, take risks, and go off the economic grid results in gluts and shortages, food lines, dependency on state welfare, devaluation of currency and hyperinflation, and possibly even starvation.  Such economies lack the incentive of the profit motive, the production feedback of the price system, and the flexibility required to keep production going in a dynamic world of rapidly changing supply and demand paradigms.  History has clearly shown the results of the warfare-welfare state, of cradle to grave "security," and the Orwellian surveillance state that falsely promises safety at the dear expense of liberty.

Life under Marxism is the motive lurking behind most dystopia.  This commercial captures it.  In a nod to the spirit of the age, the final frame shows a website URL made to look like it has been spray painted.  It says: "Breakfast Defectors . com."  The "R" in "breakfast" is reversed to look like the Russian letter Я.  The word "defect" conjures up images of people escaping from the Soviet Union and Eastern Europe to start new lives in the west.  Great attention to detail.

Some of this detail is, however, lost on people who were not around in the 1980s, and who are not conversant with the historical era and unique circumstances of the fall of Communism,

For example, this critique misses the connection to Orwell's 1984 and the remarkable events of the real life 1980s.  I believe her critique could have been better had she acknowledged the commercial's tongue-in-cheek homage to this unique epoch in western history and the literary tradition of dystopia.

Yes, it's a commercial for Taco Bell to sell breakfast thingamabobs.  But it is a commercial rife with ideas - clever ideas, humorous ideas, profound ideas, and even ideas that are grand enough to be called ideals.

I'm not a fan of breakfast sandwiches, but I just might have to make a run for the border and try a hexagon in gratitude for a commercial like that.  

Paleo Coach!

I just picked up a book from the library called Paleo Coach: Expert Advice for Extraordinary Health, Sustainable Fat Loss, and an Incredible Body by Jason Seib (rated an impressive 171 five-star reviews out of 180!).

I have been paleo/primal now for quite some time - more than a year.  I am still enjoying it, eating awesome tasty food, have no belly fat, wear 28 inch pants, have lots of energy, and almost never get sick.  Just skimming through the book, this may be the best quick and easy intro to primal/paleo living and eating.

Page 12 basically tells you all you need to know in one fell swoop:

"The Paleo Lifestyle  At a Glance

Foods to Enjoy

• Meat
• Vegetables
• Fruit

Foods to Avoid

• Grains
• Legumes
• Vegetable Oils
• Refined Sugar
• High-Fructose Corn Syrup
• Artificial Sweeteners and Sugar Substitutes
• Soy
• Most Dairy

Exercise

• Walk
• Lift Heavy Things
• Sprint
• Get Flexible
• High Intensity Interval Training
• Avoid Traditional Cardio

That's pretty much it!

The book includes some testimonials, some detailed explanations of the above, a few recipes, and some "coaching" to encourage the transition to a healthier life.  There are some before-and-after pictures and case studies, and a helpful short bibliography.

The author, Jason Seib, includes this wonderful challenge on page 193:

Disbelief?

Maybe you just can't get your head around the fact that most of what you have been taught is complete bunk.  To you, my friend, I issue my favorite challenge.  Do you think that anything I am suggesting will kill you in a month?  If not, then eat strict Paleo for at least three weeks.  If you see no benefit in the way you look, feel, or perform, put a brick through my window and tell everyone on Facebook that I am a scam artist.  Also, be sure to come to one of my seminars and heckle me.

I would certainly not say that if I had not seen the results with my own eyes, time and time again.  While other diets ask you to dupe your body into the illusion of health, Paleo actually delivers health, and it usually begins working its magic right away.  I am not claiming that Paleo will give you the results you want immediately, but you will see enough improvements in your health and vitality within three weeks to know that you have finally found what you have been looking for.

Nothing is more frustrating for someone like me than the critic who has never tried Paleo.  I am not interested in discussing anyone's theories about why Paleo would not work for them.  You have to come at me with something more tangible than that.  All I am asking is that you give it a shot. Even if your only motivation is to make me eat my words.  Please give it a shot.

I agree with Seib on this.  Some of the biggest critics of paleo/primal seem locked into their belief that this is another fad, it won't work for them, they "could never do that," there is something evil about not eating bread when Jesus used bread (though without all the additives and genetically altered garbage that is in our food supply today) for the Lord's Super, and they are simply and contentedly doomed to being fat, sick, and headed to a health crisis.  I agree with Seib.  You can take charge of your health and do something about it.

Try it.  You won't look back, and you won't be sorry!

Another Primal Triumph!

Once more, a delightful primal repast from the Paleo Slow Cooking book (see here).  Tonight's recipe: Fiesta Lime Chicken.  Note the "rice."  Any guesses as to its true identity?

Yum!

Primal Spaghetti!

Mrs. H. hit one out of the park for dinner today!  Behold, "Spaghetti with Meat Sauce."   But there are a couple of extraordinary things about it:

1) The sauce is prepared in a crockpot after only about 15 minutes of prep time, and
2) The spaghetti is not pasta, but rather spaghetti squash.

So it is easy and convenient (cooking 4-6 hours on low), and it's PRIMAL!  No pasta, no starch - just pure meat-vegetables-spices-and oil paleo-goodness.  For those with diabetes or gluten allergies, this is a way for you to indulge in a hearty and healthy spaghetti.  Besides spaghetti squash, you can also use zucchini noodles or even sauteed spinach in the place of noodles.

This is Miss Grace's first time at bat with her new cookbook: Paleo Slow Cooking: Gluten Free Recipes Made Simple by Chrissy Gower.  The book is large, gloriously illustrated, laid-out in a practical, almost website-like way, with color-coded sections and easy-to-follow instructions.  So far, so good.  With an emphasis on good!

An Unwelcome Pulmonary Visitor

I had a small piece of boiled egg "go down the wrong pipe" - which sent my body into a tizzy.  The lungs are not made to digest food, and sometimes, weird things can happen when things get out of wack.

The above article also shows the tenacity of life, especially given the Creator's implantation of DNA and life's ability to germinate and survive in the most extraordinary circumstances.

I wonder if the guy was able to keep the plant alive?

Primal update

Here is an update on my primal experiment.

I'm still blown away by how well this works!

I took a few pictures of me in my jeans that I was wearing a little more than a month ago (32-inch waist).  I'm now wearing 30s and they are a little loose at this point.  And this was accomplished without any working out at all, with lots of bacon cheeseburgers (without bread!) at McDonald's and Wendy's (not to mention visits to Chopsticks Chinese buffet and Texas Roadhouse, and plenty of snacks of beef jerky, nuts, eggs, and vegetables).

I do want to start working out again, though, and the more muscle you build, the quicker the fat disappears.  What I have seen is basically the result of a "slacker's" version of the primal lifestyle.  I could be doing so much better!  With summer coming, I think my schedule may be more amenable to working in some push-ups, sit-ups, pull-ups and some running.  I don't plan on doing anything too sophisticated, and certainly nothing that calls for gym membership.

Again, this progress represents two months or so of only simple dietary modification, no calorie-counting, no starvation regimen, and no drugs.  I don't even want the size of meals I used to eat, and I'm shocked at how easy it has been for me to give up pizza and sweets.  I'm also very pleased to find it not difficult to make this work even in travelling and visiting people, and when I absolutely must have some bread or a cookie or something (not to mention beer), it's really not a big deal.  The primal lifestyle advocates the 80-20 rule.  It does not demand perfection.  But then again, I like the results, and it makes me really want to keep it up.

Not only have I had to buy new pants, but even my shirts no longer fit the same.  I bought new clerical shirts and a collar for the first time since seminary (ten years ago) - as my old shirts (and clerical collars) have become comically too large for my neck.  I started off weighing in the mid-170s a couple months ago, and am now down to about 151 pounds.  I have basically reverted to my physique as it was when I was in my late twenties. I also feel a good 20 years younger as well.

This is doable for anyone!

So, if you want to give it a shot, check out Mark's Daily Apple and start reading.  Or, if you want the skinny in ten seconds or so, stop eating the following: junk food, potatoes, rice, bread, grains of any kind (including corn), and sugar.  Replace it with meat, nuts (not peanuts), seeds, veggies, and fruits (in moderation), and oil.

Or, approximately, whatever health recommendations the federal government says, do basically the opposite.  :-)

Losing Fat Without Work?

It seems like there is always another fad or product or program that promises weight loss without working out - usually with the tantalizing claim that you can eat anything you want and still lose weight.  I even remember something about an ad a few years ago that claimed you could drink all the beer you want, sit on the couch, and still the pounds would melt off.  I bet that guy made a few bucks!

Mostly that kind of claim (weight loss without hard work) is nonsense.  But only mostly.

I want to report that I am stunned and amazed at my shrinking belly and how it has almost gone completely away in about a month - without working out and without taking pills.  I ran across a website by a guy named Mark Sisson, a remarkably fit middle-aged former marathon runner who has come to the conclusion that our entire approach to healthy eating and exercise is not just all wrong, but almost opposite of what really works.

He calls his approach The Primal Blueprint.

He starts with a premise based on evolutionary theory to explain why it works, and he introduces a mythical caveman to make the argument.  You can ignore all the evolutionary theory, however.  It makes no difference whether we are acting contrary to our natural bodies as evolved (according to the myth) or as created (and corrupted by original sin). His caveman tale as a foil to present the approach doesn't validate it or invalidate it.

I began to see how far we Americans have let ourselves go when I went to Russia last summer.  I saw almost no fat people anywhere.  A person who was "a bit chunky" there was a rarity.  I saw nobody who was morbidly obese - while this is increasingly common in the U.S.  Here in the states, I have always been considered "thin" - even with my middle aged paunch.  I saw how different my physique was when I was in Russia.  I was embarrassed.

Russians typically walk more than we do (especially in the summer), and that's part of it.  But the diet is really where we differ.  Russians typically do not eat junk food, prepackaged snacks, and sugary drinks.  They eat much simpler and healthier meals, usually consisting of a soup, a salad, and a meat dish.  The serving sizes are much smaller.  Food is not typically industrial and prepackaged.  They do not constantly walk around with Cokes and bags of chips in their hands "grazing" all day the way Americans typically do.  They don't eat a lot of sweets.  Fast foods are not part of the daily regimen.  Many people still grow their own vegetables.  Their meat and milk are not laced with hormones and chemicals.

They drink a lot of water, and a good bit of tea.  I found that they drink a lot less coffee than we do - and of course, far (far!) less by way of carbonated drinks - diet or otherwise.  They do have some of these things, but practice great moderation and self-control - something we Americans are not known for.

Until about a month ago, I was more than 170 pounds (I'm about 5' 10" and 48 years old), mostly with my excess fat distributed in my belly.  I don't drink much beer at all, but I was really getting a "beer gut."  I like candy, sweets, sodas, and snack foods.  I love ice cream, and became fond of a midnight snack of a bowl (or even two) of cereal.  I generally drank diet drinks, but very little water.

I did get in the habit of drinking a lot less coffee and more tea (including antioxidant-rich green teas) when I came back from Russia.

About a month ago, I joined a gym and resolved to get back into shape.  I used to run marathons in my 20s and 30s.  While at seminary, in my late 30s, I did the Bill Phillips Body for Life challenge (along with Grace).  We went like maniacs and were, if I may say so myself, quite buff by the end.  We basically continued the lifestyle, while easing up a bit after the challenge actually ended.  BFL is a 12-week plan of  balance between carbs and protein, lots of supplements (protein shakes), no sweets, and hitting the gym hard three days a week and doing aerobic exercise (running) the other three days.  We had a gymnasium to use free of charge at the seminary, and we pounded a lot of pavement and pumped a lot of iron.  My vicarage year (after leaving the seminary) was basically a continuation of the physical regimen without the supplements and less emphasis on diet.

But over the years since then, middle age crept up, and we (myself more than Grace) put on the pounds.  Grace's cross to bear was recovering from pregnancy (which she did quite well over time).

So, bottom line: just a few weeks ago, we decided to go back to the gym and try out Mark Sisson's philosophy (which is rather like Atkins - basically very low carbs, lots of protein).

So here is what I did:

• Cut out the starchy carbohydrates entirely: rice, potatoes, bread, cereal - all gone.  That means no more of my favorite food: pizza.  No more French bread.  No more bowls of cereal.  All gone.  No "cheat day."  Gone in toto.  I figured this was a short-term experiment, and I needed to see results.
• Cut out the desserts.  No more ice cream, cake, pie, etc.  We do allow ourselves little squares of dark chocolate (which is an antioxidant and good for the heart if consumed in small quantities) eaten sparingly as a treat.
• I upped the protein considerably.  Nuts, seeds, meat.  Almost limitless quantities of beef, chicken, boiled eggs, beef jerky - even bacon.  Yum!
• I enjoy fruits in moderation (they are carbs and laden with sugar, but are also healthy).
• I eat lots of vegetables!

That's pretty much it on the diet.  No calorie counting, no extensive planning.  We have continued a basic vitamin regimen that has served us very well over the past few couple years - we are almost never sick.  We take a One-a-Day, a B-vitamin, some D, and Glucosamine-Chondroitin for joint health (which we actually have stopped recently).  We also drink a powdered Vitamin C and immune system boost to ward off colds.  I have them all ready to go in the morning. (If I feel a cold coming on, I hit the Zinc and "Airborne" tablets hard and fast.  I find them very effective).

For breakfast, I continue to have my cappuccino (double espresso with whole foamed milk, but I have abolished the sugar).  For a morning snack, I eat some nuts (not peanuts though, as they are carbs), a few grapes, and a boiled egg.  At lunch, I eat a can of chicken and microwave juicy frozen vegetables (Bird's Eye Stir Fry, no sauce!) with olive oil (a tablespoon and a half) and seeds (a full tablespoon) on them.  Yum!  I try to drink tea here and there during the day - especially green tea - no sugar (except once in a while).

Dinner is typically chicken (or beef) and vegetables.  We enjoy ethnic vegetable and meat dishes.  Sometimes we go out to eat.  It's really pretty easy to go primal even at fast food joints and other restaurants.  For example, at McDonald's, I usually get two Angus bacon and cheese snack wraps - and get rid of the wrap.  I eat the meat, cheese, onions, bacon, and pickles with a fork.  No fries!  Absolutely no fries!  I may get a diet soda as a treat, since I don't really drink them at home.

You can basically do the same at Wendy's.  Taco Bell, no.  Fried chicken and fish is not the best, but if we go to Chick Fil-A or eat fried catfish (our church had fish fry Fridays during Lent), that's not so bad - so long as there are no potatoes or goodies involved.

Chinese buffet is really easy - no rice, just meat.  Lots of it!  Yum!  And Texas Road House is also easy: just avoid the bread and fries.  Order the steak with two sides, and make the sides veggies and green beans.  That's it!  And drinking water saves money.

I have found it surprisingly easy to give up the goodies.  It's just about starting a new habit.  We can have as much as we want for snacks - so long as we're talking meat, eggs (boiled eggs are really convenient - make them ahead of time and load up the fridge), beef jerky, etc.

Working out became almost impossible though, as I work full-time in the parish ministry and have a part-time job as well.  I went to the gym almost every day for a week - and then we had things that needed attending to, and Grace and I both fell out of the habit of going to the gym.  But something interesting happened...

I lost weight quicker and easier than I did doing BFL even without the working out six days a week!  The pounds seemed to melt away.  I was losing about a half-pound a day.  My posture improved.  My mind became sharper.  My aching joints became healthier.  Grace and I noticed that our skin really improved (thanks to the oil).  I was not starving.  I also had (and have) far more energy.

On Good Friday, I wore a dressy cincture (belt) with my cassock that I had not been able to get into in about seven years.  A couple days later, just for kicks, I wore my 1986 Aerosmith concert t-shirt without my belly protruding.  I bought that shirt when I was 22 years old.  I can wear it after a month of basically cutting out carbs - without even having to work out.  I went from the 170s (I don't even remember my beginning weight, as I was not taking it very seriously at first), and now I have broken the 160 barrier.  My last weigh in brought me to 158 pounds.  My 32  inch pants are hanging off of me.  I have to hike my belt tight to keep my trousers from falling off!

So now, I am indeed ready to take things to the next level.  Some of our issues have ironed out.  We are actually going to cancel our gym membership.  We live near a path for biking and running, so we can do that.  We have a pull-up bar and are considering making a small area in the shed to do free weights (which we already have).  A former teacher of mine - who was very fit well into middle age and actually bore a striking resemblance to Mark Sisson - once explained to me that you don't need to go to the gym - just do push-ups and crunches.  It worked very well for him.

So there you have it.  I think anyone can do this.  It is so worth it!  And it is not an inflexible program.  I actually had a piece of carrot cake for Easter.  But just one - not two or six.

I wanted to pass this along to anyone wanting to give it a shot.  I know that the Rev. William Weedon is a primal guy.  I know there are several others in the Lutheran blogosphere who have tried it and praise its effectiveness.  You can't argue with success!

Here are a few links: This is a young Asian guy who stopped eating rice and got amazing results.  Here is a similar story from a lady of Italian extraction who finally gave up pasta, and saw tremendous results.  Finally, here is a 71-year old man whose life has been changed by going primal.

Mark Sisson isn't selling anything. He's not trying to hawk supplements or exercise gadgets. He has authored a book (which he is quick to tell you that you don't really need - all the information is actually on his free website) and he gives away an e-book specifically about Primal Fitness.  Dr. Joseph Mercola has some similar thoughts on exercise (see here).  There are a lot of other "testimonials" on Mark Sisson's site here.  It is especially encouraging to read about people getting off of prescription drugs for things like high blood pressure and acid reflux.  Our diet in America is not commensurate with what our bodies need.  Sisson's website includes a lot of free articles and video, such as today's offering about using a pull-up bar.

His approach does run against the grain (pun intended) of some "conventional wisdom" - especially when it comes to FDA recommendations.  Keep in mind, the government is run by lobbyists, and government's conclusions are not necessarily the healthiest, but rather the wealthiest (for them, anyway).  If their guidelines were as good as they claim, we would not see so much childhood obesity, diabetes, and all the other health problems associated by being too fat.  Mark Sisson advocates for more nature and less industrial processing. This fits in well with what I saw in Russia.

So take responsibility for your own health, and leave the government bureaucrats to what they do best: making money for those industries who bribe them.  I have no financial dog in this hunt.  I'm not invested in anything I've mentioned.  I'm not selling anything.  I'm just stunned at how well this works.  It's like magic - mainly because it is rooted in truth instead of what is convenient for Big Pharma and Big Agribusiness.

I'm skeptical about claims of weight loss and "easy" programs.  But I can't argue against my own success.

Tea time!

One habit I brought back from Russia was drinking tea.  I drink the stuff every day now.  There are great health benefits as reported here.

I like a lot of different kinds - from the domestic Bigelow blends to various kinds of green teas.  I generally drink tea several times a day.

A big favorite in the Hollywood home is Indian style masala chai.  It is not as full of antioxydants as green tea - but it includes the benefits of ginger (which is good for digestion) and cinnamon.  And it is just plain pleasurable to drink. I learned to make it more than 20 years ago from my friends from India.  These days, Mrs. H. and I enjoy a slightly simplified recipe, which is very quick and easy to make - which we include here at no extra charge...

This makes a large teapot worth (1.25 liters) - five large cups.

You need 2 to 3 rounded tablespoons of Assam black tea.  It really needs to be Assam tea - it is dark and pungent!  You may need to go to an international grocer or Indian store to find it.  But use Assam!  It is the foundation.  How much you use depends on the strength of the particular tea tea that you buy.  It may take a little experimentation to get the right strength.  We prefer a full-bodied cup that can hold its own with a good portion of milk as well as the melange of spices.

Add:

• 1 teaspoon of chopped ginger (it comes from a jar and is wet).
• 1/2 teaspoon of ground cardamom.
• 1/2 teaspoon cinnamon.

Pour in the water (boiled and then cooled just a bit - we have an electric kettle that is lightening fast).

Stir.  Let steep at least five minutes.

After pouring into a cup (you might want to use a strainer when you pour), add milk and sweetener to taste.  We use Sweet Leaf stevia - a natural calorie-free sugar product (the bottles are a little expensive, but since you only use a few drops at a time, it lasts a long time!).  It should have a beautiful caramel color, creamy consistency, and a good spicy kick.

Tea is a healthier alternative to soft drinks, and generally, has less caffeine than coffee.

Cheers!

The Feds: To Serve Man... With Bleach?

Here is the article.

Is this is why we have a federal government?  So bureaucrats can invade a picnic and pour bleach on everyone's food?

If this isn't tyranny, plain and simple, I would like to know why it isn't.  One of the problems with the federal government is that in spite of all the talk of "democracy" and "republic" and "of the people" and "freedom," what we really have is an oligarchical top-down empire held captive to two nearly-identical political "parties."  There is no check and balance from the states and the people as envisioned by the founders.  Neither do each of the branches of the federal government check the other.  They have all gone into cahoots - and this is the result.

Moreover, our "elections" are completely overseen by these two extra-constitutional parties with crazy internal rules designed to allow the parties (The Party?) to keep a stranglehold on the entire process.

And for the most part, in response, the people focus on a media-driven goose-chase of buying into the politics by blaming the other party, name-calling, aping platitudes and talking points offered up again and again as mindless mantras on talk radio and in tabloid TV.  The politicians are all "outraged" and promise "change" - all the while benefiting by keeping the people divided against each other while they literally do things like pour bleach on people's food.  CNN-watchers blame the FOX-watchers; FOX-watchers blame the CNN-watchers.  The "liberals" blame the "conservatives" and the "conservatives" blame the "liberals" - all the while those terms have switched places back and forth, gotten mixed and matched, and have become utterly meaningless labels.

Hooray for our team!

Meanwhile, once entrenched in Washington, Republicans and Democrats continue growing old agencies and creating new ones like mushrooms, generating reams and reams of new laws and regulations, destroying civil rights and national security, and printing dollars until they are nearly worthless.  Both "parties" support both warfare and welfare - while cleverly convincing their own members that it's really the "other" party doing it.

It's Laurel and Hardy.  And it would be funny if they weren't equipped with the power to tax, to regulate, to control, to execute, to torture, etc. and with enough nuclear firepower to turn the planet into a cinder - all with the brainpower and wisdom of two toddlers that have unlocked the liquor cabinet and the gun rack.  A little bleach anyone?

Instead of blaming Bush and Obama, and getting all wrapped up in getting their partisans elected, Democrats and Republicans ought to ditch the party apparatuses and apparatchiks and blame the federal government (comprised almost exclusively of functionaries of both of these parties) and its arrogant, imperial, bureaucratic attitude toward the people they are supposed to serve, not rule.  Whether we are Republican, Democrat, or neither, we would all benefit by going back to the Constitution and restoring the republic.

There was a time when federal bureaucrats did not pour bleach on food.  There was a time when Americans could not secretly be executed by the president. There was a time when people had the right to a trial.  There was a time when people were free to eat whatever food they wanted to eat.  The Bill of Rights (that historic relic) actually addresses these things, although every amendment has been whittled away or outright abolished de facto by partisan lackeys in all three branches of the federal government, by both alleged parties, and by their confederates in the state governments who play along to get ahead themselves.  We are no longer a union of fifty states, but rather an empire of two teams (Red Team and Blue Team, the Elephants and the Donkeys) of the same ideological philosophy of government that holds ordinary people in contempt.

And the people have been lulled into playing along, serving as "food" as it were to the monster.  To borrow the punch line of the old Twilight Zone episode: "It's a cookbook!"

One day, maybe the people will say "enough is enough."  This is exactly the kind of thing that happens when power is left unchecked.  A little Clorox on your porterhouse, anyone?  How disgraceful and shameful!  Pouring bleach on food to ruin a peaceful picnic.  "We the people" indeed!

Have you had enough yet?  Or are you waiting for some party hack from the Red/Blue Team to vandalize your dinner table?  Public service indeed!  

Thank you to the Rev. John Dreyer

We had an outstanding visit from our dear friend the Rev. John Dreyer, who serves as a recruiter (real title: Admissions Counselor) for Concordia Theological Seminary - Fort Wayne.  We had a blast!  I mean, he was working like a dog and not having any fun at all (this was a working trip, after all).  I don't want John to get in trouble with Rast.  I mean, President Rast.

Anyway, thanks to Pastor Dreyer for preaching at our Wednesday evening Mass, faithfully proclaiming God's Word and sharing in the most holy body and blood of our Lord - as well as making connections with men in the area interested in serving in the holy ministry.

Grace and I go back about a decade with John, and below is a picture of us together at my graduation from CTSFW in 2004.  It was obviously a more flattering camera angle seven and a half years ago as the gray hairs were sparse, if not rare!

Rev. John Dreyer and Vicar Larry Beane, 2004

Must be the light in the church...

Rev. John Dreyer and Rev. Larry Beane, 2012

Here is a link to our pictures after yesterday's service and during today's visit to the French Quarter - including the Napoleon House, Jackson Square, the St. Louis Cathedral, Arcadian Books, the Cafe du Monde, and a walk along the river.

What a great joy to catch up with a brother pastor and friend!

My Siberian Adventure - Day 21 - July 17, 2011

Visit: Yekaterinburg

I woke up fairly late, got ready quickly.  Father Sergey is picking us up at 10:30 am for the 11:00 Divine Service - which will likely start somewhere around 11:15.

Before Sergey and Alexey arrive, Dan and I go to the 2nd floor of the hotel for the buffet breakfast again - which is similar to yesterday's offering, but with a little variation in the fare.  We notice that there are several families on vacation and a lot of English writing on t-shirts - especially among the children.

Sergey and Alexey pick us up.  We arrive at church.

Father Sergey is the celebrant, and Father Alexey Trapiznikov - whom I have not met before - assists.  Before the service, we are greeted by a visitor, a pastor from Canada who has a missionary ministry.  He serves the Association of Free Churches (I think this is the name of the church body), a Norwegian Pietist church that is, I believe, headquartered in Minneapolis.  It is a denomination that is both liturgically "low" and has a "low" view of the office of the holy ministry.  He has worked with Father Pavel (Zayakin) for many years, and the two are good friends and colleagues.  He is on his way to Abakan to assist with Father Pavel's Bible camp for young people.

He is dressed in civilian attire, and he tells us about his eclectic Lutheran background, having served congregations in both the LCMS and in the ELCIC.  he currently lives near Vancouver, and makes annual mission trips to Russia and India.

He ended up in the Free Church because of their particular brand of low-church conservatism.  His church body does not "ordain" women.  When we ask him what is his church body's view of the Lutheran confessions, he is unsure.  He is a very likable middle-aged man and is shadowed everywhere by his 30-ish Russian translator.

After our morning visit and tea, Father Sergey prepares for Mass.  He is a soft-spoken middle aged man with a kind face, a closely-cropped beard, and short dark hair that is starting to develop "salt and pepper."  As the celebrant, he is clearly in charge.  Not typical for the services is Father Alexey (Streltsov) snapping pictures on his Nikon.  Father Alexey (Trapiznikov) preaches the sermon and serves liturgically as the deacon.

The communion rail only accommodates two communicants at a time, and the pastors only have room to scoot sideways between rail and altar to distribute the Holy Sacrament.  The church furniture originally came from the fist seminary in Novosibirsk.

After Mass, we retire to the kitchen for tea and cookies.  In deference to my caffeine addiction and shortfall, Father Sergey presents me with a day-glow yellow half-liter bottle of Mountain Dew with a rascally smile on his face.

We all pose for a group picture in the sanctuary - except of course, Father Alexey, our photographer.

Sergey and Alexey bring us to the hotel to check out and then bring us back to the church flat.  They go off for a while.  While waiting for them to return, I look out the window and journal.  It is warm and sunny outside, about 80F.

It looks very much like an American scene outside - with a few differences.  A young girl is walking a dalmatian, who would just as soon stay put under a tree.  She has to coax him to go.  Two babushkas (elderly ladies) walk together down the street clad in their "uniform" of flowery dresses and head scarves.  Two middle-aged women walk together with what appears to be a dachshund/beagle mix.  Two younger guys are checking out a car - perhaps to buy.  One of them is smoking a cigarette.

 Cars zip down the highway that is maybe a quarter mile (if that) from the flat.  The building across the street has typical enclosed balconies with clothes hanging outside.  Some people are on foot bearing plastic grocery bags.

Tired looking Latas (a Russian domestic automobile) roll by in sharp contrast to the more modern-looking imports - mainly Toyotas brought in directly from Japan, as evidenced by the steering wheel placement on the right.

Summers are very short here, and I get the impression that people make the most of their warm season.  Like my family members in Ottawa, they experience about six months of winter - with short days, reaching a peak of sunrise at about 10:00 am and sunset at about 4:00 pm.

Fathers Alexey and Sergey return and pick us up.  We are headed to lunch somewhere in Yekaterinburg.  Dan reads Crime and Punishment on his Kindle.  Alexey and Sergey converse intensely in Russian.  I'm getting a little road-weary.  I'm also quite homesick and looking forward to getting home.  Today is Miss Grace's birthday, but it's only 4 am back home.  Maybe I'll be able to get on an Internet connection some time today.  Otherwise, I'll ask Dan for his phone and fire off a text message to my dear wife.

Our drive takes us to a large event called the Technology Expo at Yekaterinburg - held in a huge convention center.  Parking and admission are free.  It is really incredible!

On the way in, we have to pass security.  The guard laughs at me good-naturedly as I have to deal with my crucifix, pocket watch, Palm device, pocket knife, and all sorts of coins, etc.  Unlike in the U.S., my small Swiss Army knife was not a problem.  I scramble to gather all of my things as my companions also have a laugh.

We ate lunch there, traditional Russian fare: salad (tomatoes and cucumbers), bread, pelmini (dumplings) and coffee/tea.  I took a chance on the instant coffee, as the brand name suggested it might be some kind of espresso.  It was a mistake.  I should have gone with the tea.  But the rest of the meal was nice.

We spent a good bit of time at the show.  We took a lot of pictures.

Father Alexey eplained that by air, Yekaterinburg is six hours from both London and Beijing.  The movers and shakers of Y-burg are trying to position the city as a business hub, an alternative destination at which to meet halfway.  Alexey is skeptical.  Russian president Vladimir Putin is very much pushing "nanotechnology" and Russians teasingly refer to him as the nano-president ("little president").  There is a girl at the show who wears what seems to be a red latex suit consisting of a skimpy top, short-shorts (also latex?) with the word "NANO" written in western letters on the bum.  The outfit was completed by her towering high heels.  It's quite a tableau.

There are also a couple of girls in day-glow green leotards advertising a bank.  They look a bit like the way C.S. Lewis portrayed the blue woman in his science-fiction novel Perelandra.  Father Daniel suggests that I get a picture.  Since my new policy is not to automatically say "no" and not hide behind my being an introvert - especially as a non-Russian-speaking foreigner - I walk up to them and motion to my camera asking: "Фото пожалуйста?"  They insist on including me in the picture.  They are fluent in English and are interested as to where Dan and I come from.  They are very good sports.

In the middle of the exhibit there is a huge, detailed model of the city of Yekaterinburg.  There is a section devoted to various businesses in Chelyabinsk.  There is even a booth selling Christian icons - which would have been unheard of twenty years ago. The place is crowded with people of every age group.  The most amusing to watch are the young couples.  Almost inevitably, the guys are quite casual - if not bordering on slovenly - while their wives or girlfriends are dressed to the nines.  It is so common as to be a cliché.

I buy a coffee mug on the way out that epitomizes Alexey's critique of many politicians' vision of modern Russia.  The mug had a tribute to Russia on one side, and another to the USSR on the other.  The caption reads (in Russian) "One History, One Country."  It is the view of those who see modern Russia as simply a reconstituted Soviet Union.  We go outside where there there are various trucks and heavy equipment - including a high-tech helicopter.

Afterwards, we drive downtown for some sightseeing.

In front of the main administrative building is a statue of - who else? - Lenin.  Father Alexey directs our attention to the top of the Soviet-style administration building complete with statues of triumphant workers and stars and other garish Soviet symbolism.  But Father Daniel is not with us.  I turn around to see him chatting with a group of young people who are sitting on the base of the Lenin statue.  I figure Dan is fielding questions about the United States or helping young people practice English.  I take a picture as Dan calls me over.

The college-age students hail from Spain, Ukraine, the Czech Republic, Poland, and Russia.  They are loud, gregarious, and friendly.  They all speak very good English, and are respectful.  We chat a little about where we come from.  One of the guys jots down his e-mail address so I can send him the pictures.

Father Sergey tells us a funny story about the Lenin statue.  Down the avenue are statues of Sverdlov and Kirov - two other Bolsheviks.  They seem to be pointing to Lenin.  The joke is that they are asking Lenin where he got his nice coat, and Lenin in turn is pointing at the shopping center across the street.

We went to that shopping center, which is located on a beautiful brick pedestrian mall.  We stroll along the walkway in the sun and chat.  We go inside and up the escalators to the 5th floor of the mall where there is a small food court.

There we find a restaurant called Hot American Pizza, a pelmini place, a more traditional Russian lunch establishment, and a (believe it or not) dessert place called Cherry Berry (back home we frequent a frozen yogurt shop of the same name).

Dan and I order pizza - of which Alexey quips is actually neither hot nor American.  Sergey gets the Russian food, and Alexey opts for the Pelmini.

We eat our "hot American pizza" in the capitalist mall as we look out the window to see Lenin pointing at us.  It is surreal and ironic.  Lenin seems so lost, so anachronistic and defeated, though his body is frozen in his usual triumphalistic pose.  From our view we see a good sized crater behind a fence.  It is filled with water.  Alexey explains that in Soviet times, it was a public toilet.  He said that it was free.  I remarked: "It still is" to the great amusement of my Russian brothers.  I think my attitude for Big Government and natural inclination to make fun of the state dovetails nicely with the post-Soviet sense of humor about the USSR.

From, we see a sign on the wall that is missing a letter.  I ask Father Alexey about it.  It says ССС-.  The last letter has been torn off.  Alexey confirms that indeed the now-truant final letter was a Р - the Russian R.  This was the sign for the now-defunct "USSR Cafe" - but the R has been taken away.  The word Кафе remains though.  More symbolic irony.

We visit a bookstore, a sort-of Russian version of Barnes and Noble.  They have a small English language section of books in English - some paperback classics.  They also have a section for learning Russian.  I buy a Random House course with 40 lessons, a book and 3 CDs.  I also pick up a phrasebook with CD for half the cost back home.

Father Daniel buys a beautiful political map of Russia.  Alexey picks up a few books.  Pastors are seldom as happy as when they are in bookstores.  I wandered off to buy some souvenirs.  My inability to communicate is a profound frustration.  The clerks are patient and kind, and they treat me like a child counting my coins for me and taking them from my outstretched hand.  I do know how to apologize and indicate to them that I don't know Russian.

On the way out, I see a 3D book with a jumping spider on it.  It includes a 3D viewer with various stereoscopic photos of bugs and spiders.  It costs the equivalent of $10 U.S.  Of course, I have to buy it for Leo.  My Visa card is declined - which Dan suggests is a safety feature because I had just used it a few minutes ago.  I pay cash.

We continue our stroll.  The architecture is western, modern, and beautiful - in some cases even opulent.

Father Sergey goes back to the car and meets us at the other end of the pedestrian mall.  Sergey and Alexey drop us back off at the church flat.  Dan and I venture out for a stroll and end up back at the beer tent.  We order a couple beers.

This time, I have my phrase book and dictionary.  With these tools, Dan and I set out to figure out the menu.  I call over to our waiter whose name is Ильхом (Ilichom?) - who is probably Kazakhstani.  He remembers us from before.  This time I use the phrase book to order in Russian.

He is amused and asks to see the phrase book.  He uses the book to ask me how much the phrasebook costs.  He is looking at the English section.  We all have a good laugh.  I took a couple pictures with him and the phrasebook.

I pay for our meal in cash, and Dan picks up the tip.  We head back to the flat.  I have trouble getting to sleep.

Here is a link to all of my pictures of Day Twenty One.

My Siberian Adventure - Day 20 - July 16, 2011

Visit: Yekaterinburg

Father Daniel and I slept in a bit and went to the hotel's breakfast.  It was a very western buffet meal that included sausage, rice, cream of wheat (which looked not unlike grits and jambalaya), also bread and a hard-boiled egg.  I also had a coffee with milk.  There is a TV on in the dining room which has what seems to be a 24-hour news channel tuned on.

Father Sergey picked us up and drove us the short distance to the church.

We met several people - including Deacon Victor Shtraube (from Chelyabinsk) and his expecting wife!  I spoke with a young layman about 25-years old or so.  He speaks English though not fluently.  His name is Vadim, and he lives in Siberia in the city of Kurgan between Yekaterinburg and Omsk.

He's a member of Father Sergey's parish (Sts. Peter and Paul) and has a 6-hour bus commute to attend church on Sunday.  His parents are atheists, though his grandmother was Russian Orthodox.  He had been baptized in the Russian Orthodox Church, but was never able to understand the liturgy because of the language barrier (Russian Orthodox liturgies are not conducted in Russian, but rather in Old Slavonic).  He stumbled upon a children's Bible, and that set him on the course to become a Lutheran.

I have a cup of tea.  Father Sergey shows up with a half-liter bottle of Mountain Dew for me.  My Russian brothers are sensitive to my caffeine addiction, and they genuinely care about my comfort.

We have a brief prayer service along the lines of Daily Prayer according to our Lutheran Service Book (LSB) hymnal.  Father Sergey is dignified as he leads prayer.  I'm seated in one of the small pews next to an older woman wearing a head scarf.

I believe my friend Vladimir (see page one of this Siberian Lutheran Mission Society newsletter, "A Lutheran Soul") - who speaks very good French - has arrived.  Father Daniel has begun his lecture.  We will have two hours each today.

After an hour, we take a break.  I met Vladimir, and gave him a small gift: a fridge magnet from New Orleans which has some French on it.  I explain to him that le français est une langue officielle d'état de la Louisiane, et il y a beaucoup de personnes qui parle français dans notre état (French is an official language of the State of Louisiana, and there are many people who speak French in our state).  We chat back and forth in French, as I am certain that I've butched the language.  I am, however, amazed at how much I am able to understand as Vladimir speaks, though my own spoken French is terribly rusty.  I think being immersed in a non-English environment has stimulated the linguistic part of my brain (then again, maybe it was the Mountain Dew...).  Vladimir is quite fluent and enjoys speaking French as much as I enjoy hearing it.

In fact, it feels good - liberating, actually, to be able to speak in another lingua franca of the world, to be enjoying conversation with Vladmir in a language that is native to neither one of us, with neither one of us relying on a translator.  As we chat, we are speaking with more rapidity.  It's a great encouragement to grow in understanding and fluency in multiple languages.

After Dan concludes his lecture, we speak to the lady sitting next to me (our translator, as I will learn later, is Evgeny, a young guy who has only been speaking English for about a year and a half).  Her grandfather was a Lutheran pastor who was executed by Stalin.  He had served in the Volga region.  As a young woman, she wished to go to medical school, but was not permitted to study because her grandfather had been condemned as an "enemy of the state."  She was mocked as a student because of her Christian faith, which she retained even after all that her family had suffered.  I asked her to write her name for me, and she wrote in my little notebook "Альвина" - the letters of which I could not read very well in their cursive form.  Father Alexey later rendered this into Latin letters for me as "Alvina."  She is more commonly known by the diminutive form "Ала" ("Ala").  The German form of her name is "Albina" - and although I did not make the connection at the time, the Siberian Lutheran Mission Society had run a fascinating three part article telling Albina's story - which you can read here: Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3.

It was a great honor to have my picture taken with Albina.

Father Alexey gives his lecture on Romans.  We break for lunch, and a large group of us walks over to the Cafe Dadazh (where we went yesterday) - where we have a very typical Russian "business lunch" with a bit of Asian influence, consisting of salad, soup, and a main dish of chicken and rice.  We also drink a peach soda - shared by the four of us at our table - served in very small glasses - and we finish with tea.  The salad is dry (in a good way).  No glop.  The soup has some kind of seafood or fish in it.  It reminds me of New Orleans.  I'm seated with Father Alexey, Vladimir, Vadim, and another young guy named Evgeny (who previously served as my impromptu translator in my chat with Albina).  It turns out that he is a 4th year Orthodox seminarian.

After lunch, Father Alexey concludes his lecture.

I begin my Augsburg Confession lecture at about 4:00 pm and go on until about 6:00 with a break after about an hour.  My listeners seem engaged - especially Evgeny.  I cover the history part and I get through Article 8.

When I field questions, one attendee raised the question of the validity of a baptism conducted by a woman "pastor."  I answered that my pastoral practice is to treat such "baptisms" as outside the church.  One ELKRAS attendee (ELKRAS is the German missionary denomination in Russia, a more liberal body that "ordains" women), a young pastor named Dennis, became quite agitated.  I calmly confessed what I believe and what my pastoral practice is.

I was a little concerned, not wanting to offend my hosts, but Father Alexey assured me that my answer is actually the same answer as the position of the SELC.  To make things more interesting, we will be traveling to Dennis's congregation to speak to them on Tuesday evening.

Afterward, Fathers Alexey and Sergey take Dan and me to McDonald's.  It looks similar to its American cousin, only with Cyrillic letters.  Russia has similar language laws as Quebec, and this regulates the amount of English that can be used on signage.  I don't know how Traveler's Coffee gets around this.  The McDonald's sign looks like this: Макдоналдс - a direct transliteration.  I order the equivalent of a Quarter Pounder, known is Russia as a Royal Cheeseburger (Роял Чизбургер).  In Russia, you have to pay extra for condiments.  Dan and I both order "large" drinks.  The clerk says something in response to Father Alexey, who looks at me gravely and says: "Uh, Father Larry, he says that the large drink is a liter."  Of course, this is considerably smaller than the large in the U.S. (which explains why Americans are considerably larger than Russians).  Father Daniel and I, unfazed by the liter, laugh and confirm our order with Alexey.  Also, there are no ice in the drinks.  I never saw an ice machine in my time in Russia.  I also believe one of the staff was scolding me for taking pictures.

The four of us (Dan, Alexey, Sergey, and I) go outside to eat under one of the red and yellow umbrellas.

Next, we make an excursion to the "Alcohol Supermarket" subtitled: "Magnum" where Dan shops for cognac - which is of very high quality and considerably cheaper than in the states.  He has promised to bring back a bottle for a fellow pastor back home.

Afterward, our Russian brothers drop us off back at the hotel.

Dan would like to buy another bottle of Armenian cognac (Ararat brand), and I need some batteries.  We stroll around, find a supermarket, make ou purchases using a combination of gestures and pidgin Russian.  The clerks are helpful and friendly.  Dan buys a bottle of Ararat, and I purchase a small bottle of "Мохито" (mojito).  Dan forgets to buy himself a beer, and the store has no AA batteries.

We walk back.

We see a funny sight: a drunken man carrying a bottle in one hand, and in the other hand he holds a cellphone to his ear.  Paying no attention to his surroundings, he crosses the busy highway, chatting and swaying between the zooming cars.  It looks staged.  The traffic doesn't even slow down.  He staggers at a steady pace completely absorbed in his phone call.  Somehow, he arrives untouched at the other side without missing a beat, talking in his cell the entire time.

We visit a little kiosk where a customer can bring an empty beer bottle and the clerk will fill it with any beer that they have on tap, charging by the amount.

It's now well after ten, but the sky is still bright.  We stroll back to the hotel.  I enjoy an extended chat with Grace and upload pictures.  Our room in the Atlantic Hotel has a large and deep bathtub, so I indulge in a steaming hot bath.  My knees get sore sometimes, so the soak feels very good.

Photo: http://www.rushotels.com/hotel/1126

Here is a link to all of my pictures of Day Twenty.

My Siberian Adventure - Day 19 - July 15, 2011

Visit: Yekaterinburg

I slept in a little.  The other guys are still asleep.  I instant-message a little with Grace and Leo for a short while (where it is still July 14, twelve hours behind me).  I take a shower - and it is a real treat!  It's a high-tech little booth with shower heads everywhere - and even a radio!  It's so high-tech, in fact, that I have to ask Dan how to turn on the water.

We have a typical breakfast of bread, cheese, meat, and tea.  There is a nice, fresh baguette of French bread and only real butter - not a bit of margarine in sight!  Father Daniel and I chat about the happenings back home in the Missouri Synod.

Father Alexey gets up as well.

A pile-driver pounds out its rhythm outside.  The windows are open and the sounds of the city enter the flat.  Father Alexey is chatting with Father Sergey on the computer.  It's a nice day - very sunny.  There may be thunderstorms later in the day.  Father Sergey will be by to get us in an hour and a half.  I pass the time doing some reading.  I wonder if my vision is getting worse.  The 1.5 glasses are getting a bit blurry and I'm now taking out my 2.0 spectacles for a spin.  Maybe my eyes are just tired.

The latter leg of the trip is the most difficult.  I'm homesick.  But I'm also looking forward to meeting Father Vlad and the people of Holy Spirit - Chelyabinsk.

Dan, Alexey, and I went to lunch close by to the church at a delightfully cozy Asian place called Кафе Дадаж (Cafe Dadazh).  The meal was nice.  I had a chicken shish kabob - which was basically wings.  There was a very mild sauce that was tasty.  I also had French fries for the first time in Russia, a side of onions (very strong, I barely ate any).  I also had a coffee with sugar.

We joked about how Tim Quill ate here a year ago - and we carried on about it.  We marveled that we were at the famous Tim Quill table.  The Rev. Dr. Tim Quill was the head of the Russian Project at Concordia Theological Seminary.  He is beloved of the Russian clergy - and held in equally high esteem by me.  I have pages of pithy quotes from Professor Quill, and count it a high honor to call myself his student to this day.

On the way out, I purchased a half-liter of Mountain Dew from the cooler for 50 rubles.  I explained to Alexey that it has the most caffeine of any major American soft drink (so I've been told anyway).  The clerk was chuckling at me, explaining that the only people who ever buy it are foreigners.  We all had a good laugh.

We take the short stroll back to the church flat and wait for Father Sergey.  Dan and I cannot resist playing around with the large pothole in the parking lot and taking pictures.

About 6:00 pm local time, we check into a local hotel.  I believe we will be staying two nights, as the church flat is spoken for by some other visitors.  They take our passports to register us.  The lady at the desk speaks decent English and has clearly been trained in customer service.

Father Sergey drives us to the imposing Orthodox church erected on the site where the Romanovs were murdered.  It was only built a few years ago, and the gilded onion domes radiate in bright shining gold tones.  People are selling icons and religious books in small booths on the street.

We take some pictures.

A lady speaks to Father Alexey.  She has invited us to a concert set to begin in a few minutes in the adjoining building which is technically the patriarch's residence.

We put on those weird blue show-covers like they have at the airport.  We go up the majestic marble staircase.  A small crowd is gathered.  A woman is seated at a piano - which is reputed to be the same instrument played by the Romanovs when they were in exile.

There are several powerful poetry readings interspersed with intense piano flourishes.  Since Father Daniel and I don't understand the Russian readings, we slip out.  Father Sergey has gone off for about an hour, and Father Alexey has been quietly translating the poetry for us.  The lady who invited us directs us to another performance - this time a woman who plays traditional Russian folk instruments and sings.  She was simply amazing!  One of her instruments was similar to an auto-harp, though without the buttons.  Another was a kind of pipe that could sing like a bird.  I need to get the names of the instruments from Father Alexey.  The performance was mesmerizing.





We visit the display of the Romanov memorabilia - which includes a hand-written note from the eldest daughter to her father, the deposed Tsar, shortly before the family was murdered.

We also visit the inside of the church very briefly.

Alexey explains that during Soviet times, the fate of the Romanovs was not known.  Nothing of the pre-Bolshevik era was taught in school.  Russians began to  learn what happened to the Romanovs under the governorship of Boris Yeltsin (he was from Yekaterinburg).  As the word began to spread, Yeltsin had the house where the Romanovs were killed torn down.

Father Alexey explained about the many strange and inexplicable things that happened to the people who shot the Romanovs and tried to cover up their crime.  The plan to destroy the bones of the family failed.  They had been buried in a mine-shaft, and had recently been discovered.  DNA tests confirmed the identity.  The church was built, and the truth could no more be hidden.  Eventually, the truth wins out even when it seems that injustice will prevail forever.

Fathers Alexey and Sergey bring us back to the hotel, the Atlantic.  Dan and I walk to the mall hoping to get dinner.  It is close to 11:00 pm.  The mall is closed except for a billiard hall.  We walk and find an open beer garden.  No-one there speaks English.  We order three plates of shasklik - not knowing what kind it was.  Our waiter was patient and displayed a great sense of humor.

We also had a couple beers.  I also ordered a Pepsi Africana.  I had no idea what it was, and so I tried it.  It is a Pepsi with lemon and lime - very tasty!

We walk back to the hotel.  It's now midnight, and still twilight.  I IM (Instant Message) and Snapyap (video conference) with Grace and Leo.  Dan is watching movies on his computer.

Here is a link to all of my pictures of Day Nineteen.

My Siberian Adventure - Day 17 - July 13, 2011

Begin: Novosibirsk
Ride the train: Toward Ekaterinburg

We sleep in again.  I take a quick shower and read ready for Father Pavel to meet us for another walk through Akademgorodok (Академгородо́к), the beautiful Novosibirsk neighborhood that is the "educational and scientific center of Siberia."  We visit the little rustic Orthodox church in the woods where I continue buying small icons for souvenirs for friends and family back home.

A friendly Russian Blue cat greets me in the church yard.  We visit the inside of the church, and we are told not to take pictures.  I had already snapped one - and the flash was accidentally on.  There was no-one inside except for two women who was overseeing things in the absence of the parish priest.    Father Pavel explains that this congregation is very strict.  It is simple by Orthodox standards.

We leave the sanctuary and enter the kiosk on the church grounds where icons are sold, and I buy a few.  We leave, and I am a bit concerned that the cat is going to follow me.  He tails us for a good while, but ducks into one of the outbuildings after saying goodbye.

Pavel takes us along a gloriously picturesque path that leads past the houses of some professors and research scientists: nice by American standards, affluent by Russian standards.

We drop into a Chinese restaurant near the shopping center.  They take Visa, and so I pick up the tab.  It is one way for me to say "thank you" to our gracious hosts.  It is a very nice and cozy place, decorated in typical Chinese restaurant style that one sees in the States - except for the Cyrillic lettering (which is stylized to look like Chinese characters).  I have a ginger beef dish and a Coke - and I use chopsticks.  Pavel is a good sport and takes up his chopsticks as well, but gives up and returns to his fork about halfway through.  Dan sticks with western cutlery and enjoys his meal as well.

We stroll to the shopping center, where Father Pavel purchases some chocolate bars for Father Dan to present to an American pastor and his family as a gift.  I buy a few bars for Grace as well.

We walk to Pavel's flat for coffee and dessert.  He retrieves three varieties of ice cream from the freezer, and makes coffee in the auto-drip.  Pavel is very fluent in English and has a quick wit and sharp sense of humor.  We take our chairs into the bedroom and set up a small coffee table for our visit.  Father Pavel also presents some chocolate chip cookies, and pronounces them to be a great import from America.  I reply that we export both good and bad - like chocolate chip cookies over and against Lady Gaga.

We walk back to the seminary as we need to start getting ready to catch our train.  With a twinge of sadness, I realize that we will be leaving Novosibirsk not to return this trip.

I pack hastily and drop off the room key for Pavel's office with the guard.  I need to return Olga Suhinina's phrase book, and I ask the guard where her mailbox is.  The guard does not speak English, but he gestures to indicate that Olga is upstairs.

I find her in the translator's office, say goodbye, and return her book in person.

I meet Dan outside where we wait with our bags packed and ready to go.

Father Pavel and the bishop drive up.  Bishop Vsevolod presents us with gifts.  Dan is given a genuine Russian Army canteen, and I am presented with a Soviet sports jersey, as the bishop explains that I am now "part of the team."  We pose for pictures and say goodbye to Father Pavel.

We pile into the bishop's car and drive to Alexey's.

Father Andrey is there to greet us.  He is concerned about his eight-year old daughter Alexandra , who is having heart problems.  We say goodbye and take pictures.  Father Alexey emerges from his building wearing a New Orleans t-shirt.

The bishop drives aggressively, often driving on the lines instead of between them.  Dan and I both check the buckles on our seat belts.  The bishop is playing his eclectic collection of favorite Beatles' tunes - which he explains helped him to learn English many years ago.

After driving a ways, we turn back toward Alexey's, as he forgot something back home.  I begin to worry that we might miss our train.

Siberians are delightfully phlegmatic about such things.

Well, we actually arrive with plenty of time to spare.  We hang out at the Novosibirsk train station.  I realize that I have left my camera in the bishop's car - again!  Unbelievable!  Undaunted, Alexey calls Vsevolod on his cell to check for me.

Dan and I take a little walk around the station.  I found a kiosk selling icons.  I buy a couple.  I check back with Alexey who hands me my camera.  I apologize.  He shrugs and says: "It happens."  Dan and I went upstairs to see the the huge mural of the map of the Trans-Siberian Railway.  We take some pictures.  A uniformed guard comes over to us and explains that we can't take pictures.  We apologize (Извините!), and he is very nice about it.

One of the kiosks is also selling matryoshka dolls.  Funny (considering the Transsiberian movie).  We board our train - which is nice, new, and has air conditioning.  It is nicer than any Amtrak train that I have ridden.

Father Alexey explains some of tyhe history of Novosibirsk as the train lurches from the station.  We take pictures.  Dan shoots a picture of Alexey and me - he clad in his New Orleans shirt and I in my CCCP (USSR) jersey.

Father Alexey has brought water and delicious sandwiches for us - made by Elena.  We are avoiding the dining car as it is expensive.  Alexey also has tomatoes, cucumbers, and nuts.

I used Dan's phone to send Grace a text message that I was now on the Transsiberian Railway and that I have matryoshka dolls in my bag.  She later tells me that she did not find that too amusing.

This is a very relaxing ride, and I greatly look forward to extended conversations with my clergy brothers.  We discuss American and Russian literature, Alexey's time in the U.S., and church matters.

The bathroom on this train is nice - even by American standards - a bio-toilet that can be flushed any time and nice hot water from the sink faucet!

We stop at Barabinsk, between Novosibirsk and Omsk.  We step outside in the rainy cool air to buy chips from a vendor.  I get a Coke.  All that is available is a two liter bottle.  It costs 100 rubles (about $3.50).

We fix up our beds - which are really nice - and we call it a night.  I journal in my bunk and shut off my light and turn in about 1 a.m. as it gets dark and the train rocks me to sleep.

Here is a link to all of my pictures of Day Seventeen.

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