God Save the Queen

What a tableau!

Anyone who ever utters: "Don't you know who I am?" is under the severe delusion that he is something other than what he truly is.

Take poor Elton John. Excuse me, Sir Elton John, Knight Commander of the British Empire. You know, a knight, a Christian warrior/gentleman who rides a white horse and bears his sword to defend the crown, the Church, and damsels in distress everywhere.

Isn't this the picture of a knight - with his lily motif on the sleeve, purple shades, and earring? Can't you just picture him slaying a dragon? Sitting at the Round Table with King Arthur and Sir Lancelot? Protecting Christian pilgrims while singing Crocodile Rock?

Indeed, think of the long, illustrious history of the British Empire from the days of King Egbert and the Saxons, The Venerable Bede, Edward the Confessor, William the Conqueror, St. Thomas Becket, King John and the nobles who confronted him with Magna Carta, Henry VIII, St. Thomas More, James VI, Elizabeth I, Victoria, Sir Winston Churchill, and...

(drumroll...)

the guy who sings Saturday Night's All Right for Fighting.

Well, he does bear a title of nobility, after all. He is a legend, a maker of history, a truly great man of all ages, a British hero, a role model to the youth, a, well, a court jester. A very sad and pathetic court jester. Like they say, there's no queen like an old queen. Just ask George Michael.

But think about the delusion that this sad entertainer is under. He is fawned over. His every whim is met by groveling lackeys. He is knighted by the queen. He is treated like royalty by royalty. But in the end, he isn't royalty. For William and Harry, for all of their faults, are royalty. They are princes. And like it or not, they are targets of violence. With car bombs blasting away in London, the princes need extraordinary protection. For that reason, automobiles were simply not permitted to drive right up and drop people off at the door - not even puffed-up old gals who go by the fake name Elton John (whose real name is, in fact, Reginald Dwight).

Convinced of his own royalty, his gravitas and importance to England, his own status as a Knight Commander of the British Empire, Mr. Dwight huffs and puffs, whines and whimpers, protests and pouts - all the while other celebrities comply with the security measures with dignity. Three cheers for the cop who doesn't cave to celebrity snobbishness.

"Don't you know who I am?"

Yes indeed. You're a self-important court jester who performs like a clown for people of the class to which you aspire, but will never occupy. You had the opportunity to display class and dignity at a public function to honor the royal family and your country's heritage - but instead chose to make a spectacle of yourself, acting like a foot-stamping toddler or a petulant teenager going to her prom in a tube-top.

Well, they say you can take the white out of the trash, but you can't take the trash out of the white. Or should we say "Dwight."