Sermon: Holy Matrimony of Barry and Elizabeth Spahr

5 October 2019

Text: Matt 19:4-6 (Gen 2:7, 18-24; Eph 5:1-2, 22-33)

In the name of + Jesus.  Amen.

Dear Barry and Liz, family and friends, brothers and sisters in Christ, and honored guests: we are here to witness and to bless an event that is at the same time solemn and joyful.  

In the middle of a whirlwind of planning and coordinating, of pictures and double-checking the details, getting from this place to that place, and a lot of crossing off items off of a list – we are here for just a brief moment in this sanctuary, gathering as the Church, as the Bride of Christ, gathering around Christ, our Bridegroom – to solemnize and to acknowledge this union, and to reflect upon God’s Word and the blessings He bestows upon all of us through this mystery of Holy Matrimony.

As our reading from Genesis reminds us, marriage is not something that we decided to do, or invented.  Marriage is not the creation of the state or of any culture.  It is a unique part of being human, for we are created in God’s image, male and female, and we are completed by joining with one other of the opposite sex.  In Holy Matrimony, we don’t lose our autonomy or freedom, but rather we gain it.  We gain a second brain, a second set of eyes, and another consciousness – another person to take care of us in good times and bad.  And this diversity of male and female is how God intended it to be.

Some people have the gift of living a complete life as a single person.  But most of us are truly incomplete apart from Holy Matrimony.  Barry and Liz are each gaining another person created in the image of God, by means of their vows and obedience to God’s will – and their families likewise join together.

And because Holy Matrimony is grounded in who we are as human beings, and because it is a reflection of Christ and the Church, Holy Matrimony is based on love.  This is not the kind of love we see on TV or in the movies.  It is a love that gives of itself.  It isn’t a flash in the pan emotion, but is rather grounded in commitment.  It is a thinking of the other person first.

St. Paul teaches us how it is supposed to work, and when it works best: when the wife submits to her husband and respects him, and when the husband lays down his life for his wife and loves her as his own flesh.  Marriages fail today because of selfishness, because of husbands who love themselves more than their wives, and refuse to sacrifice for her, and because of wives who respect themselves more than their husbands, and refuse to submit to him.  

Our popular culture is filled with depictions of bossy wives dominating their husbands and telling their friends how stupid he is, as well as immature husbands playing with toys and shirking their responsibilities, and then telling their friends that their wives are nags.  Of course, this is a formula for disaster.  A much better model for a successful marriage is found in the Bible, in the politically-incorrect words of St. Paul.

Our Lord Jesus Christ blesses marriage.  He quoted the very same passage from Genesis to the Pharisees when they were trying to trick him into denigrating marriage.  And Jesus speaks to all of us when He reiterates the words of Genesis with His own commentary: “What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.”

Barry and Liz, this Holy Matrimony into which you are entering is God’s work.  When you remain steadfast to one another, when you love and respect each other, when you remain committed to one other day in and day out, you are doing God’s work.  It is a holy work, and by it, you, your family, your culture, and the entire world are blessed.

And likewise all of us gathered here have a responsibility: to encourage Barry and Liz to be faithful to one another, to encourage them in their holy married estate, and to not make their lives difficult through sinful actions like gossip or interference in their new life.  

And may the two of you find joy not only in each other, but in the God who has joined you together, in the Bridegroom who lays down His life for the Church, and in the Bride who submits to our Lord Jesus Christ.  And may you enjoy many years of blessedness, happiness, and steadfastness as one flesh.  Amen.

In the name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.  Amen.