Great Britain's Real Marathon Man

Wow!

What more can you say about Buster Martin. His life is the stuff of legend. He is England's oldest employee, being 101 years old (though he has two official birthdays, so his claim to be 101 is not verifiable by Guiness - if the other birth record is correct, Buster is a "mere" 94 years of age). He's the father of 17 children. As of two days ago, he may well have become the oldest man in the world to complete a marathon.

Last year, he also played in a rock band that made the charts (covering, what else, The Who's "My Generation"), as well as fought off three teenage attackers by kicking one hooligan in the groin.

And if that's not enough, Buster is an unapologetic drinker and smoker.

In fact, at the halfway point in the London Marathon (April 13), Buster paused to have a beer and a cigarette (which sounds so much more exotic in the British slang: "a pint and a fag"). Here's the story.

Obviously, smoking is bad for you. Drinking to excess as well. But, there is something refreshing about Buster standing defiantly over and against the "nanny state" that wants to tax, regulate, and ban anything that responsible people might want to enjoy in moderation without having a busy-body bureaucrat imposing on us. One has to wonder how many members of parliament and anti-tobacco crusaders are willing to run a 26.2 mile race like old Buster. There is a part of me that is thrilled there are guys like Buster out there standing like a "thin gray line" between personal freedom and some nosy "suit" trying to make it illegal for me to eat lasagna, like this New Zealand professor who wants to tax butter, which he considers a "poison" as "bad as cigarettes." Oh brother!

I can't help but share a bond with Buster as a brother marathoner.

I ran my first marathon in 1989, having trained with a bunch of guys who had two passions: distance running and partying. My friend Mark could actually drink beers right before the race and still manage to turn impressive times. Our friend Jody was a really fit U.S. Navy guy who polished off a sixpack before entering the 10k - for which he hadn't trained. At least that's what he thought he was running. He got into the wrong line, and ended up running the marathon instead. He completed the race, but even he was pretty sore the next day.

Now, far be it for Fr. Hollywood to recommend that people "drink and run," but this is simply the reality of my training partners "back in the day."

After completing the race in a little more than 3 hours, Mark ran back another mile to join with me for my last mile, encouraing me so that I would break the 4 hour barrier. After crossing the finish line and having the medal placed around my neck (and though I was not much of a partier), I joined in the festivities with my friends by swilling from a bottle of peach schnapps (I was still years away from acquiring the taste of beer) and puffing a churchill-sized cigar - still clad in my tights with my number pinned to my shirt. My other marathon friends were all sharing the stogie with me, though they were drinking beers. I do recall some looks of shock at our blatant display of political incorrectness. It was amusing. But I figure, I just ran 26.2 miles, sprinting the last mile, - and if I want a shot of schnapps and a cigar, that's my business. Sort of my version of "a pint and a fag."

Of course, I was 25 years old, not 101. Buster is truly entitled to a little display of "vice" in the course of his heroic performance. Non sum dignus, mi amice! Here's an article about Buster's marathon training.

To see a video clip of Buster's mid-race beer break, check out...


Wow!

New Augustine Discovered

Interesting. It's not every day that new works from a great Doctor of the Church are found. Read all about it here.

The Most Unlikely Rock Star

Everybody loves the underdog. There is just something really joyful about a person succeeding against all odds.

I was watching a DVD I picked up heavily marked down in a sale bin at WalMart, a documentary of sorts about the Meat Loaf album Bat Out of Hell.

Think about how crazy the story is...

It's 1977, and the pop music world is dominated by flashy disco, sullen punk, and glamorously made-up rock stars . Along comes a 350 pound sweaty Texan with an operatic (though untrained) voice, wearing a a ruffly tuxedo shirt, who goes by the pseudonym Meat Loaf. He joins forces with a geeky Jewish pianist and showtune writer named Jim Steinman. They come up with a concept album that blends Bruce Springsteen-like lyrics, Who-like power chords, Eagles-like harmonies, a storyline about a motorcyclist who crashes his bike and watches the beating heart fly out of his chest, operatic drama, show tune riffs, teen angst, and campy humor (one song on the album, "Two Out of Three Ain't Bad", includes the line: "But there ain't no coupe-de-ville hiding at the bottom of a cracker jack box").

Nobody wants to make this record. These guys are simply nuts.

The duo are rejected and laughed at by literally thousands of record company executives who can only shake their heads in disbelief. That is, until Todd Rundgren agrees to make the record on his own label. Rundgren produces the album, and even simulates a motorcycle revving up on the record album, using nothing more than his guitar in a one-take impromptu performance.

The project acquires a couple of backup singers and a backup band. They take the show on the road with no props to assist the storytelling. They keep up a frenetic pace, as Meat Loaf strains his voice to the point of vocal (if not heart) damage as he "becomes" the character night after night on stage.

The album sells 34 million copies worldwide, and becomes a cult classic.

The DVD interviews everyone involved in the album 22 years after the fact. Unlike the usual rock and roll personalities, this group has a sense of self-deprecating humor, a humility about the whole thing that still genuinely believes they can't believe they actually made this thing work. Meat Loaf comes across as a genuinely nice guy, lacking the typical rock star pompousity and delusions of grandeur. They really seemed to have had fun creating the music, performing it, and now, telling the story about it.

Though the DVD doesn't get into all this, the post-Bat Meat Loaf story remains interesting. Later on, Meat Loaf loses his voice, goes bankrupt, and has an acrimonious split with his longtime friend and collaborator, Jim Steinman. Over the years, Meat's voice returns, he loses a lot of weight, has a successful acting career, patches things up with Steinman, and actually puts out a successful "Bat Out of Hell II" album, as well as more hit records - never losing the music's hallmark epic, gothic rock-opera sound, but with a joyfully silly sense of humor that refuses to take itself too seriously.

See below for a live performance of the title song, "Bat Out of Hell." And when you think you can never be successful, just remember, with hard work, tenacity, and refusing to be beaten down by "conventional wisdom": "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through."

Latin is Cool

I suppose this is the ultimate expression of "retro" - but the once-dead and once-despised Latin language has risen from the dead and is popular again. Schools have revived Latin having seen the tragic results of its being removed from school curricula a generation ago (illiteracy, grammatical ignorance, decreasing competence in composition, a loss of vocabulary, etc.).

When I was in high school, the last remnants of Latin were being phased out. It was being done away with in favor of more "relevant" courses. This also coincided with a lot of "novel" teaching methods and techniques from the "professional academicians" who knew that New is always better than Old. Remember "new math"? Remember "whole language"? Ever wonder why so many people under the age of 50 can't do long division; they struggle with things like "to," "too," and "two;" and their spelling is a train wreck?

Crawling out of the wreckage of the train wreck at some point, Latin started crawling back. Homeschool moms and Christian academies started teaching children one at a time or in small groups. Momentum has built up to the point where Latin is on the upswing again. Of course, Pope Benedict's liberation of the once-restricted Tridentine Mass has reintroduced Latin to Roman Catholics. Even those who don't attend Tridentine Masses will find that their Sunday services are peppered with more Latin hymns and liturgical responses than ever before.

Not only do Latin students outshine their non-Latin-studying peers in SAT scores, Latin students are better at grammar, vocabulary, foreign languages, critical thinking, and composition. Latin students who go on to study sciences, medicine, or theology also have a leg-up by having studied Latin. Latin students are more confident and have a better sense of their place in the world and in civilization.

I can see the difference in my own 6th, 7th, and 8th grade Latin students from the beginning of the year until now. In a very short time, they are reading natively (not simply translating), using passive and active verbs and several conjugations and declensions, and now have used all the cases - all within the context of a story, without burdensome memorization and drills, and without a ton of grammatical terminology. They are seeing English words all over the place that are vestiges of the Latin that they now study. I'm really proud of my students. The course I'm using, written by a Danish classicist named Hans Oerberg, is utterly ingenious. There is no English in the book at all (the "natural method"). It is as close to "immersion" as one can get with a "dead" language. You can find more information here. This text is used all over the world by grade school children all the way through university students.

Because of the resurgence of interest in the lingua latine around the orbis terrarum, you can now read an online Latin newspaper and even hear podcasts and YouTube shows in Latin. I have read that ATMs in Vatican City offer Latin as a language option. There is a Latin version of Wikipedia, and the Finnish Broadcasting Company, realizing that more people understand Latin than Finnish, actually broadcasts the news on shortwave radio and on the Internet in Latin. You can even listen to Latin Sermons by Pope St. Leo the Great read by the Vatican's chief Latinist, Fr. Reggie Foster (who is an American, by the way).

So, what comes around, goes around (Id quod circumiret, circumveniat), and Latin has suddenly become cool.

Brave New Future

One of the side-effects of our increasingly post-Christian culture is the erosion of our liberties. For as much as the unbelievers may grouse at the following observation, individual freedom, republican government, democratic mechanisms, and respect for the rights of minorities are direct results of a Christian culture and worldview.

The farther away from Christianity nations and cultures wander, the more fascist, brutal, thuggish, and tyrannical they become. Tibet would not be oppressed right now if China were a Christian nation. Nazis and Communists both persecuted the Church and pushed a violent form of government that denied individual liberties just as they denied God. Once-Christian Muslim countries are today among the most brutal and repressive. Once-Christian western nations that have now embraced secularism have lost their emphasis on individual liberty and have shifted to a more Marxist model of collectivism to the expense of individual freedom.

This is because Christianity understands rights as gifts from God to individuals created in His image. Rights are thus inalienable. They are not privileges to be bequeathed or revoked by government, not something a citizen earns by loyalty or by holding approved thoughts and beliefs. This tenet of freedom is articulated and inscribed in the founding document of the United States, the Declaration of Independence (even though its author, Thomas Jefferson, was not an orthodox Christian). Fascism always begins by denying that God gives rights, but rather claims that rights are, in fact, privileges, given (or removed) by government.

As we become more and more paganized, we can see this way of thinking gaining traction. Even the 1990s patriotic anthem "God Bless the U.S.A." erroneously ascribes rights as something that soldiers give to civilians. Supreme Court justices (even the most conservative ones) routinely speak of the Constitution "giving" rather than "recognizing" or "protecting" rights which come from God in the first place.

If you want to see where this is going, especially for Christians who submit to the Word of God without compromise, take a look at Scandinavia - where refusing to share an altar with a woman "pastor" is a criminal charge. Or observe to our North, in Canada, where simply publishing a couple Bible verses in the newspaper without comment results in being summoned before a "human rights tribunal" and convicted of a crime.

We're seeing the first stages of such denial of individual freedom to Christians here in the U.S.A. The following article should be alarming to any believer in individual liberty, whether Christian or not, whether heterosexual or not, whether businessman or not.

Allowing government to transgress on the rights of anyone, no matter how well-intentioned, is one more step toward fascism. In an Orwellian irony, the greatest displays of intolerance are carried out in the name of tolerance.

Remember the ominous words of German Lutheran pastor Martin Niemoeller, pictured above (note: there are several variations and versions of the quotation, but all of the slight variata make the same point):

In Germany they first came for the Communists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Communist.

Then they came for the Jews,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a Jew.

Then they came for the trade unionists,
and I didn't speak up because I wasn't a trade unionist.

Then they came for the Catholics,
and I didn't speak up because I was a Protestant.

Then they came for me —
and by that time no one was left to speak up.

Sermon: Jubilate (Easter 4)

13 April 2008 at Salem Lutheran Church, Gretna, LA
Text: John 16:16-22 (Isa 40:25-31, 1 John 3:1-13)

In the name of + Jesus. Amen.

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

Life in this fallen world is a burden. We are surrounded by temptation, sickness, sadness, disappointment, and death. We are just plain worn out, and at times, beaten down. We feel defeated by the devil, overcome by the flesh, and mocked by the world.

In the words of an ancient prayer of the Church, we are “wearied by the changes and chances of life.” In the lyrics of folk singer Arlo Guthrie, we are “hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things.” According to St. John, “the world does not know us” – and a little later on, he goes so far as to say: “do not marvel, my brethren, if the world hates you.” Our Lord Jesus tells us: “you will weep and lament, but the world will rejoice; and you will be sorrowful.”

Not only are Christians hated in Muslim regions, in Communist countries, and even in supposedly tolerant and free societies, Christians are despised everywhere. For this little while,” Christianity is a cross.

The world just doesn’t get us. We don’t play by their rules. Our values are not their values. In the days of the Roman Empire, the Christians were called “haters of men” for not hailing Caesar as a god. They were made out to be “atheists” because they refused to include the Roman gods with their God. Today, Christians who abide by Scripture and uphold the tradition of the holy faith are known as “misogynists” (that is, “woman haters”), “homophobes,” and “fanatics.”

If the world thinks your religion is cool, hip, and happening, you are not practicing the Christian faith.

Until the return of our Lord Jesus Christ, until the end of time and the permanent establishment of a new heaven and a new earth, we are in the “little while” of not seeing Jesus, of weeping, of sorrow, of continuing to exist in a fallen, corrupted world in fallen corrupted flesh, harried and haunted by the fallen corrupted devil.

Our Lord assures us that the time we wait for the Lord is but a “little while,” and that the payoff will be so great, that we will soon forget our travails, even as a woman in labor forgets her pains when the child is born – or at least, so I’m told.

But notice how the world’s ways are the diametric opposite.

Instead of a “little while” of suffering to be followed by an eternity of joy, the way of this fallen world is a “little while” of escapism followed by long periods of misery. Many people live their lives only for the weekend. Their existence during the week is drab and without joy, so that when the weekend comes, they spend it in a drunken stupor.

Others live out the weariness of existence in this fallen world medicating themselves into ecstasy for a “little while” only to return to the real world in a huge letdown. Still others find their “little while” of what they believe to be joy in materialism, in shopping and spending, in increasingly expensive and less satisfying purchases, only to come back to reality when the bill is due.

Life in this fallen world is a burden.

But notice how our Lord Himself picks up our burden. He asks us to cast our cares upon Him, even as He bears our sin and our cross, suffering our death, paying our ransom, and giving us life and communion with the Father.

For even as we are “wearied by the changes and chances of life,” notice the Prophet Isaiah’s preaching of Christ: “The everlasting God, the Lord, the Creator of the ends of the earth, neither faints nor is weary…. He gives power to the weak. And to those who have no might He increases strength…. Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength. They shall mount up with wings like eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint.”

For as “hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things” that we are in this fallen world, John implores us to lift up our hearts: “Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God.”

And being children of God, of course “The world does not know us,” he continues, “because it did not know Him.” But John tells us our discomfort with this world that doesn’t know us – and in fact hates us – is not permanent. For, “we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is.”

But for the time being, we must wait. We must live out this “little while” in this “vale of tears.” We must endure sorrow. We must endure the world’s wrath. We must endure our flesh’s betrayal. We must endure the devil’s accusations. We must endure sin, sickness, and death. We must endure suffering, hatred, and every manner of evil.

But once again, for us baptized “children of God,” for us who will “be like Him,” we can wait for the Lord, waiting patiently in His promise, waiting patiently in the eternity of the Church even as we are still stranded in the time of this world. This separation we endure from our Lord, from our eternal destiny, from our new and greater body in a new and greater creation is but for a “little while.”

We don’t know why this is the Lord’s plan, but it is. We are waiting for the final judgment, for the end of time, and for the destruction of all evil. And when this happens, our Lord’s prophecy “your sorrow will be turned into joy” will be fulfilled.

Imagine, unlike the world’s miserable existence of suffering long periods of misery for a few moments of false happiness, we who wait for the Lord will suffer a “little while” of sorrow to be followed by an eternity of true joy, a “joy that no one will take from [us].”

This is why this Sunday is known as “Jubilate.” This is how it is that we can limp and stumble into this place, still in space and time, still in the old flesh, singing: “Make a joyful shout to God, all the earth! Alleluia. Sing out the honor of His name; make His praise glorious. Alleluia.”

For even as the world, the devil, and our flesh conspire as our enemies, we can sing: “Say to God, ‘How awesome are Your works! Through the greatness of Your power Your enemies shall submit themselves to You.’”

After this “little while” of “waiting on the Lord,” we shall see Him again. We shall be like Him. And our enemies shall submit themselves to us.

Then, the time will have come that we will no more be “hung down, brung down, hung up, and all kinds o' mean nasty ugly things,” no longer wearied by the changes and chances of life,” but rather mounted up with eagles’ wings, running without weariness, walking without faintness, no more to weep and lament, no more hidden from our Lord Jesus Christ, but rather seeing Him face to face, with hearts rejoicing, with irrevocable joy that will have no end. Amen.

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

In the name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Amen.

Sermon: Funeral of Sue Fair

11 April 2008 at Mothe Funeral Home, Harvey, LA
Text: Luke 2:25-32 (Isa 49:13-16a, Rom 8:28-39)

In the name of + Jesus. Amen.

Dear family and friends. God is asking something very difficult of you today, something that none of us ever wants to do. He is asking you to say goodbye to Sue Fair, a beloved wife, mother, sister, daughter, grandmother, and friend.

God has given her to you as a gift, and now, according to His will, He has taken her back to Himself.

And that is the real comfort we Christians find in death. Sue is a Christian. She is a baptized child of God. Irrevocable promises have been made to her.

We live in a life that Scripture calls a “vale of tears.” We are surrounded by sin, sickness, pain, and death. We live with situations we cannot control or understand. And yet, God has given us hope. In fact, He has given us even more. He has given us His Son, who died for us, for the forgiveness of all our sins, to conquer death and the devil on our behalf. He rose from the dead. And He has given us His promise that we too shall rise from the dead. He has baptized Sue with water and the word. She has been marked for resurrection, and we Christians know we will see her again when we too will have been raised from the dead.

In our fallen world, we all suffer crosses. Sue’s cross was an illness that robbed her of her memory, that distressed her family and friends. But this separation between mind and body, this separation between friends and family, and even this separation of Sue’s body from her spirit and her separation from all of you is only temporary. For consider St. Paul’s words in our epistle reading: “For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

The separation due to sin and death has been conquered by our Lord Jesus Christ, and that is how Paul can say: “We are more than conquerors through Him who loved us.”

And though memories may fade, though illness and age sometimes rob us temporarily of our remembrance, our Lord, our merciful Lord, our loving Lord, never forgets us. As the prophet Isaiah spoke anew to us: “Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you. Behold, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands.”

Our Lord remembers Sue, as she was baptized into His cross and resurrection, into the nail prints of His hands, into the sign of the cross traced on her at her Holy Baptism. This is how it is that we can pray, even at times like these, with Isaiah: “Sing for joy, O heavens, and exult, O earth; break forth, O mountains, into singing.”

For it is our merciful Lord who sets the times and places of all things. His will is a mystery to us, but He is merciful and powerful. He takes care of His beloved ones.

Year after year, Sue sang the words of St. Simeon from our Gospel reading in the Church’s liturgy. Simeon was an old man who had a promise made to him. He was to live to see the Christ, to hold Him in his arms, and that he would sing the praise of the God of Israel having been prepared for death. God kept His promise to St. Simeon, even as He has kept His promise to St. Sue. Having run the course of her life, having completed the tasks assigned to her in the kingdom of God, she now takes her Sabbath rest with Simeon, singing with him, with us, and with all the Church in every time and place: “Lord, now You are letting Your servant depart in peace, according to Your Word; for my eyes have seen your salvation that you have prepared in the presence of all peoples.”

The Lord asks the very hardest thing of all of us: to say goodbye, to trust Him, to know that He keeps His promises, that Sue is safe in the arms of the Lord into whose name she was baptized. And we confess our faith that she will rise again, and we will again see, hear, touch, and love our dear sister in Christ, with perfect mind and body, in perfect love and joy, for all eternity. Amen.

In the name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Amen.

The New Baby Boomers?

Just when you thought the aging post-WW2 "boomers" were the most self-centered, narcissistic, generationally-chauvinistic demographic in the "Church Militant," along came the "Emergent/Emerging" generation.

Lord, have mercy!

You know, I think they may just be baby-boomers with iPods. Take away the boomer dashiki and add a cellphone, and you now have an "emergent". They speak in reverent hushed tones about their unrequited hipness, their utter uniqueness, and their wonderful sense of "me, myself, and I" - as well as what a gift they are to God's creation. In fact, the entire Church must bend to them, to their ways, their mores, and their quirks. Their motto would be "L'eglise, c'est nous!" if they had time of day for such quaint practices as modifying once-universally-understood historical sayings as a means of social commentary. At least the boomers had some sense of history, even if it was distorted by Freud, Marx, and George Harrison.

By way of example, here is a blog post written by a woman "vicar" in the ELCA who is trying to start a trendy hipnewemergingcoffeehouse "worshiping community" called "House For All Sinners and Saints" or (of course) "House" for short. The "vicar" of "House" is the self-described "Sarcastic Lutheran" who enjoys showing off her tattoo (now that's different), who enjoys using profanity on her blog and in theological discussion (cutting edge stuff...), and who has never met a tradition she likes (kind of conformist non-conformity). Cloned cookie-cutter coolness.

Her generationally self-centered manifesto reads like a cross between The Who's My Generation and a Woody Allen movie. It is interesting to count the number of times the pronoun "we" is used and compare it with the number of times "Jesus" is used.

And we thought the boomers were the "me generation." These are the boomers' grandkids, and I don't think we've seen the "me generation" yet!

Well, the only saving grace is that this neo-boom generation hasn't yet managed to get its music played on Cadillac commercials, nor have they developed a need for Viagra, like their older "baby boom" cousins.

But just give them time!

And keep in mind, this kind of "notcher grandfather's church" mentality is the goal of Ablaze!(tm) and other marketing schemes the suits in St. Louis are pushing on us. Read below, and welcome to the LCMS of the future (after this kind of thing has become terribly outdated in the mainline denominations, that is).

Sigh.

(Remember, this is a blog post from Sarcastic Lutheran). It reads like emo-teen angst. It's embarrassing. Really. You have been warned. Prepare to cringe.

House's Who We Are

***Before I get any more scolding comments I thought I'd clarify that the following statements are the result of a long and prayerful effort to be as honest as possible about the characteristics of the group of people who have gathered together over the last 9 months to do the initial work around developing a new worshiping community. Rather than compiling a list of who we wish we were, or who we ideally think we are, we chose to just stick with who we and our friends and partners really are (hopefully with a modicum of humility around the fact that we can't do this perfectly). Worshiping communities, despite what most would say are niche groups. We are admitting we too are niche. We are not trying to be all things to all people, but we are located in a very particular cultural context in which we seek to create a Word and Sacrament community. My friend David put it like this: "Look at Chipotle. They are really clear about who they are and what they do; Burritos. They are not going to start cooking burgers, but are burger eaters welcome there? Absolutely." We also are seriously aware of our need to be in relationship with "the other" whether that be more conservative Christians, people of color, those less fortunate, those more fortunate etc. To that end we are guests in a space which is the 4 Winds Cultural Survival Project - A Native American community center. In a meeting with some of the leadership of 4 Winds we told them of this document that we created saying who we are and they were impressed that we would be honest enough to admit that we are White. We hope to be their allies and perhaps even friends. We also are seeking out prayer partner relationships with close-by worshiping communities regardless of how similar or not we are theologically or culturally, acknowledging our need to be transformed by contact. And yes, we get the irony of having a particular population in a House for All.

This describes who we are right now. It does not describe who is welcome. We wish to welcome all.

Who are we, and for whom do we do this work?

We are people who went to church once and are now Evangelical refugees.

We are people who never stopped going to church, yet are seeking a community that provides a different level of engagement.

We are youngish and adultish.

We resonate more with the mystical and contemplative than the obvious and simplistic.

We work in non-profits (and non-prophets), we are graduate students, social workers and young professionals.

We participate in virtual culture and are tech savvy enough to realize that we are not actually.

We are artists, who mediate progressive culture outside the mainstream.

We are post-modern urban dwellers who are delighted to not live close to such things as “Applebees”.

We are terminally ironic, white, and educated.

We are the injured who are striving to be self-aware; struggle is an almost constant.

Our cynicism can sometimes just be masking our confusion and vulnerability.

Our idealism is based in the trust that transformation is possible in the individual, the church and the whole world.

We are queer.

Some have children, some live alone, some are alone, some are partnered.

We tend to over-think things because we’re geeky and analytical.

Some of us are rooted here, but most are somewhat transient.

We are friends and allies of all the above.

April 08, 2008 in House For All Sinner and Saints | Permalink

Sermon: Misericordia Domini (Easter 3)

5 April 2008 at Salem Lutheran Church, Gretna, LA
Text: John 10:11-16 (Ezek 34:11-16, 1 Pet 2:21-25)

In the name of + Jesus. Amen.

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

The readings for this Sunday in the church year all have to do with sheep and shepherding. In fact, many know today as Good Shepherd Sunday, even though it is technically Misericordia Domini – that is “the goodness of the Lord” of which the world is full, according to the Psalmist, just as we sang in our Introit.

For indeed, our Lord is the Good Shepherd, whose goodness fills the earth. Our Lord’s mercy is without limit. His love for His sheep knows no bounds. He will sacrifice everything, even His own life, for the sake of His sheep – especially His lost sheep, His wounded sheep, His sheep that are constantly assaulted by wolves and lions.

Our Shepherd is no mere hired hand. He is the Owner of the sheep, the Creator of the sheep, the very Author of the sheep. His interest is vested, not by virtue of having a boss overseeing His work, but because He is the Boss, the “Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

The metaphor of sheep and shepherd is perhaps the most comforting imagery in the Bible. Millions of saints have been laid to rest, amid peaceful green grass and still waters of cemetery grounds as statues of Jesus carrying a lamb look upon their graves, even as the pastor and his flock spoke the words of the 23^rd Psalm: “The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want.”

In our culture, being free from want means “having it all” – anything our twisted hearts desire. It is a mindset of materialism and self-centeredness that seeks to bend or buy the wills of others to conform to our whims. “I shall not want” to most people means money, power, sensuality, and never having to submit to anyone. It is freedom from authority, and freedom to spend every waking hour playing games.

But the holy psalmist has something else in mind, as does our Blessed Lord.

In fact, the Hebrew word for “is my shepherd” in Psalm 23 is really understood as “leads me” or even “rules me.” The Lord is not my genie who grants all my wishes at my command, by my whim, and according to my will. Rather, the Lord is my overseer, my ruler, my master, and in submitting to Him is where we find green pastures and still waters.

We don’t “partner” with God, nor is he a kind of wizard who is there to make our wildest dreams come true if we follow the right spiritual program. Rather, He is the Lord, the slave-master, the ruler, and we find our happiness in submission to Him. The old Latin title for this blessed 23^rd Psalm is “Dominus Regit Me” – which means literally: “The Dominator rules me.”

This is what it means to be a sheep. This is what it means to have a Shepherd. For when we sheep foolishly decide we don’t need to submit, when we become convinced we can “go it alone,” we wander off only to become food for the wolf. The last thing we sheep need to do is to listen to the world’s siren song to “think outside the box” and “leave our comfort zones.” Oh, what wonderful advice to sheep when it comes from a hungry wolf! But we are safe from the evil one in the “comfort zone” of our flock. There is safety in numbers, and most of all, we are protected when we are ruled by our Lord, when we let God be God, and we allow ourselves to be herded.

Our Lord Jesus is a true Shepherd. He is not a temporary employee and not a hired manager. He indeed “gives His life for the sheep.” The hireling, on the other hand, runs away from trouble and will not fight. But the Shepherd bears the crook, and does not hesitate to crack the skull of the enemy rather than see His beloved sheep threatened. Our Lord both gave up His life for us sheep and was victorious over the evil wolf when He Himself, the Shepherd, became the Lamb; when He, the priest, became the victim; when he the Master, humbled Himself to become a Slave to His slaves.

The Good Shepherd knows His sheep by name, for they have been christened, that is “Christed” – anointed and named with Christ – in the still waters of Holy Baptism. The Good Shepherd is also known by His own, for the Lord’s sheep do not follow the beckoning of every false shepherd and wolf in sheep’s clothing. He knows us, and we know Him. And it is in submission to Him who shepherds us that we want for nothing, we drink cool water, and we eat rich grass. It is in this submission that we are protected from the wolf, and are even rescued by the Good Shepherd when we, by our own rebellion and stupidity, wander from the flock. For as Ezekiel the shepherd prophesies: “I Myself” that is, the Lord, “will search for My sheep and seek them out… and deliver them…. I will feed them in good pasture.”

And listen to what this means for us sheep. Having been sought out, rescued, and led to safety by our Shepherd, listen to St. Peter, whom the Lord commanded: “Feed My sheep.” Peter, who was himself crucified for the Gospel, in turn shepherds us with this Word of the Good Shepherd: “For to this you were called, because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that you should follow His steps: ‘Who committed no sin, Nor was deceit found in His mouth,’ who when He was reviled, did not revile in return; when He suffered; He did not threaten, but committed Himself to Him who judges righteously; who Himself bore our sins in His own body on the tree, that we, having died to sins, might live for righteousness – by whose stripes you were healed. For you were like sheep going astray, but have now returned to the Shepherd and Overseer of your souls.”

Our Shepherd saves us from the evil wolf not only in protecting us from his wiles, but also in protecting us from our own sinful flesh. Our Shepherd is our Lord, not out of a lust for domination, but rather in selfless love for His dominion. And His use of authority - not for greed or self-aggrandizement, but rather out of love and mercy - serves as an example of authority for the whole Church on earth.

And this example is especially for pastors. “Pastor” is the Latin word for “shepherd.” Pastors are given stewardship over the Lord’s sheep. The pastor is to use his authority from above not for greed, gain, or domination, but rather in love, selflessness, and service to the sheep – even as the Shepherd of the shepherds, the Pastor of the pastors, the Bishop of the bishops, has done. Pastors need always remember that they must be willing to lay down their lives selflessly in service for the sheep, and the sheep, for their part, must realize that their pastor loves them, and lovingly guides them to the Lord who is our Good Shepherd, the Lamb who has ransomed the sheep, the Shepherd and Bishop of our souls. It is He, the Lord, who defends us all against ravening wolves and guides us to green pasture and still waters.

The King of love my Shepherd is,
Whose goodness faileth never.
I nothing lack if I am His
And he is mine forever.

Where streams of living water flow,
My ransomed soul he leadeth
And, where the verdant pastures grow,
With food celestial feedeth.

And so through all the length of days
Thy goodness faileth never;
Good Shepherd, may I sing Thy praise
Within Thy house forever! Amen.

Christ is risen! He is risen indeed! Alleluia!

In the name of the Father and of the + Son and of the Holy Spirit.” Amen.

"A Spiritual Hiroshima"

Thanks to Dr. John Stephenson of the Concordia Lutheran Seminary in St. Catharines, Ontario for sending me this brilliant essay based on a presentation by Dr. Peter Kreeft (pictured) of Boston College.

While his speech was obviously written from a Roman Catholic perspective, and bewails his own communion's failure (at least in America) to mount a defense of the Gospel in the face of the "Culture of Death" - both among the hierarchy and in the church's colleges - we Lutherans are largely fighting the same battle.

Like Nero who played the lute while Rome burned, our church leadership fiddles with silly marketing gimmicks and programs while our antichristian culture is Ablaze!(tm) with the "crafts and assaults of the devil." Our bureaucrats seem to have no clue that we are living in apocalyptic times. Our hierarchy pushes the marketing of the emerging gurus, when what the Church and the world really need is the example of the eternal martyrdom of the saints. The Church needs communion with heroes who emptied themselves out in the arena, not the imitation of charlatans who fill their own coffers by filling up arenas.

The battle lines are clear.

To our shame, we Lutherans are often more concerned with 19th century squabbles between one group of German Americans and the other, when what we really need is to take up the sword of the ancient war between our Lord and His host over and against the prince of this world, even as he and his minions continue to make inroads into the Church through the increasingly antichristian culture of death.

It is terribly frustrating that all too often the traditionalist Roman Catholic and Reformed Christians are engaging the devil in battle while the Lutherans are too often frolicking like the mythical unicorn in the rain. Roman Catholics have also given the world the author Michael O'Brien, who is likewise sounding the trumpet. Issues, Etc. had been a Lutheran regiment in the battle, but that regiment has been retired in favor of a nice, bland, nonconfrontational Afternoon Show.

We will not defeat antichrist with programs, nor with detente with the enemy. We will only defeat him because Christ has crushed his malignant head at the cross. We need to recklessly wield the sword of God's Word against the dragon, and voraciously feed on the body and blood of the dragon's Slayer. We need to fortify ourselves with prayer and fasting, with confession and absolution, with a fanatical obsession to take the Holy Sacrament at every available opportunity. We need to quit pussyfooting around and "man up" and stop living as if we have made peace with the devil.

We need to enlist our sons and daughters in the war and stop allowing them to cavort with the enemy. It isn't their "choice" which army they will fight with anymore than a soldier can pick and choose which country he will fight for at any given time. Consider them drafted. It is no more their "choice" to be a Christian or not than it is their "choice" whether or not to eat rat poison.

We are the church militant, and we need to be militant. It is a bloody business, and we can only fight with the blood of the Lamb in our mouths.

And "we" need to understand that the "we" is not the synod, not a corporation, not a denomination, but rather the One Holy Catholic and Apostolic Church, whose archbishop is Christ, founded on the apostles, and against which the gates of hell are as impotent as any church marketing scheme.

"Dear Abby" drops the ball

Here is a question and answer from April 2, 2008 Dear Abby column (letter reproduced below):


"DEAR ABBY: My husband, 'Lee,' and I have been married two years and have kept all of our finances separate, including having different auto insurance policies. While I was away on a business trip, Lee moved my car and parked it in our circular driveway. Subsequently, a tree limb broke and dented my car's trunk. I was extremely distressed that damage was done to my car when I wasn't even in the vicinity. I feel that, as a minimum, Lee should pay half of my car's deductible. He refuses because he says it was an act of nature. Obviously neither of us was directly to blame, but I truly believe he should pay half the deductible because he moved my car in the first place. What do you think? -- OUT ON A LIMB IN GEORGIA


DEAR OUT ON A LIMB: I see the logic. However, it depends on why your husband moved your car. If Lee moved it because it was street-cleaning or trash collection day, then he should not be penalized. However, if he moved it on a whim, he should fork over his half of the deductible. Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Write Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069."



Say, what? Has she lost her mind? Let me take a stab at it...

Dear Out On a Limb: You are not married. If you have separate finances, you are simply friends and business associates who share an address, and perhaps even recreational sex. Married people are "one flesh" - they share one another's burdens, and are committed to one another for life. They do not see themselves as two distinct financial entities, but rather pool all resources for the common good. They do not allow material possessions to dictate the terms of their life together.

If you really want to be married: 1) stop going on "business trips" and be a "helpmeet" to your husband, 2) unify your finances (unless you are "hedging your bets" and presuming you will be getting a divorce, in which case you have some other arrangement than marriage) 3) Treat your car for what it is: a car. It is not a living creature. Unlike your "husband," it is incapable of giving or receiving love. Get your priorities straight. 4) Treat your "husband" as a part of your own body, not as a litigant in small claims court.

You and your "husband" need to learn what marriage is. In a marriage, you can no more gain by making your spouse pay you than a right arm "wins" by chopping off the left arm. Grow up and accept the fact that bad stuff happens - and it happens to you together. That's why you have insurance. Don't waste the blessings of married life on such trivial squabbling.

Finally, don't waste your time asking Dear Abby. She seems clueless.

Absolut Provocation

The elephant in the parlor is that the American borders are utterly open. For all their talk about "security," Federal politicians would rather implement the creation of a huge bureaucracy to examine shampoo bottles at the airport than to actually enforce the law when it comes to illegal immigration.

We are moving closer to an Orwellian society with security cameras and an increasingly aggressive police force - all the while aliens pour into the country with no way of knowing who is a rapist or a murderer and who is basically an honest person looking to make a living.

Of course, the legal immigration system is designed to keep criminals out. But the legal and honest route to citizenship is simply a joke. Our Border Patrol is told to treat illegals with kid gloves, and some agents are even serving outrageous jail terms for trying to keep thugs and criminals from entering the country illegally.

I believe there is a vested interest for both parties to keep a large number of illegals in the country. Democrats and Republicans alike are turning a Nelson's Eye to what amounts to be an invasion, a reconquista. Why aren't they protecting us? Why will they sacrifice thousands of American soldiers trying to "build democracy" in Asian lands while the real threat to our national security and way of life is right here in North America?

Democrats, being more amenable to a welfare state, prosper by expanding government programs, and then securing the votes of the beneficiaries. Hispanics are the fastest-growing demographic in the United States - both because of immigration (legal and illegal) and fertility rates. Democrats, eager to explot this changing demographic, play the "diversity" card and push for an easy path to citizenship for those who enter the country illegally. Of course, our overburdened emergency rooms and our multilingual overcrowded public schools belie the feel-good sentiment that "diversity is our strength." Thus, while having utterly selfish political motives, the Democrats play the "altruism" card. They care. They care about the downtrodden. And to show they care, they are willing to spend lots of your money to show it (while you attend a thousand dollar a plate fundraiser to help get them elected).

Republicans, being more amenable to corporate interests, prosper by making Wall Street prosper. Profits increase when labor costs decrease. This is why very little is made in America. Asian labor is much cheaper, and thus creates an incentive to manufacture abroad. Of course, some businesses can't simply be exported, such as American farm work and construction (skilled and unskilled). Since these businesses can't be moved to Mexico, Mexicans can be moved to these businesses. Not only does this decrease labor costs because the difference in the standard of living is so different between the two countries, it has the additional effect of driving down wages overall. Like the Democrats, the Republicans are also eager to put on a sombrero and utter a few words in Spanish while the cameras are rolling - in a display of "compassionate conservatism." And they may even hire an illegal Mexican woman for pennies on the dollar to scrub the floors of their exclusive digs in a gated community.

So, even if for differing reasons, both Democrats and Republicans have a common cause when it comes to un-securing our borders. While they have an incentive to "talk the talk" about immigration reform and enforcement (very few legal Americans are big fans of open borders), they certainly do not "walking the walk" - since they, the politicians of both parties, are the ones with the most to gain by a "y'all come" immigration policy.

Finally, both Republicans and Democrats understand full well that Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, and any future big-government insurance "solutions" function as a pyramid scheme. Those who receive benefits are propped up by those who work. The system will only continue to work if the population grows, if more and more workers replace the retirees and recipients of health care.

However, with declining birth rates and with a huge wave of baby-boomer retirements coming to a head around the year 2017, politicians understand the dire need to import workers to prop up the ponzi scheme. They will never admit this (Social Security is a sacred cow, and any hint of trouble in that sector means getting clobbered in the next election), but the system is terribly broken. In fact, it is broke. There is no money in reserve for Social Security. Those funds are spent elsewhere, and the American Federal budget is always in a deficit situation (hence the need for "paper currency" that can be devalued at will by the Federal Reserve). There is no mathematical way to keep the "promise" of Social Security. However, with an influx of "new Americans," the collapse can be pushed back for at least another generation - when the current crop of politicians are safely receiving their lucrative government pensions (which are completely separate from Social Security).

Meanwhile, as American historian Clyde Wilson says: "Have a nice day, and press 1 for English."

Parental Guidance Suggested?

Since Mrs. Hollywood's mother is visiting from Canada, I'm taking some vacation time - sort of. As Mrs. Hollywood puts it, "It's like a vacation, except you're working." But I really am taking some vacation time, and I think I really needed it.

But anyway, I'm doing things I don't normally do, like reading the newspaper.

Lagniappe, which is the Times-Picayune's "Arts and Entertainment Weekly" is an interesting snapshot into the state of the culture. Oh boy. The political correctness is utterly stifling. Isn't it amazing how much of a conformist you need to be to be "on the edge" these days?

Here's a little survey of some of the plays that are reviewed. First, there's one about a "young black girl in 1941 who prays for blue eyes." A story about race. Now there's a theme that has never been explored on stage. That's throwing caution to the wind. Then there's the "sophisticated Manhattan comedy that gets into some serious questions of gay marriage and haute couture." Ho-hum. Then, there is another play about race. That's a shocker. And over here is a "musical hit about talented little Tina, who would literally kill to get the lead in her school play." Kind of like the uplifting biography of Tonya Harding. And lest we forget, there is the "infamous San Francisco punk troupe of outrageous international drag performers." How could I live with myself if I don't get to see that one?

But wait, there's more! How about the "twisted tale" and "love story" about "Happy and Gaye Daye, who happen to be cousins and know it, have a co-dependent dysfunctional relationship complicated by the fact that they are" - I kid you not - "clowns and don't know it." All righty then. Here's another play: "the reminiscences of a snake handler, a rodeo queen, a woman obsessed with McDonald's, a baton twirler, etc." Okay. There's also the "newly relevant 1952 comedy about a girl determined to try out for the high school football team." Boy, I can hardly predict the plot on this one. Does anybody have a clue what the "moral" will be? That one's really up for grabs, anybody's guess. The suspense is killing me.

Over in the movie section, the reviews follow this pattern: number of stars, MPA rating, where the movie is playing, plot summary, the obligatory litany of objectionable content (which reads like the swiftly mumbled list of "possible side effects" of pharmaceuticals in the ubiquitous dope commercials on TV), and finally, the length of the film.

The "Litany of the Objectionable" is pretty long in most of the films. They are typically the same. It seems to be a staple of Hollywood marketing to include "language" (well, I should hope so, unless it's a silent film), "nudity," "violence" and "sexuality."

One movie struck me in having one more that the others don't. This additional bit of objectionable content is at the end, making it sound as if this is the crescendo, the pinnacle, the climax of the movie's nastiness.

Here's the list: "Rude and sexual humor, nudity, language, and..."


Are you ready for this.


Are you sure you can handle it?


Can you just imagine what it might be?


Blasphemy?


Cannibalism?


Cold blooded murder?


Sadism?


Vicious cruelty?


None of these.


It is rather...


Wait for it...


"smoking."

Yep, that's it. The film landed a PG-13 due to "rude and sexual humor, nudity, language, and smoking." Can you just hear a nice conservative couple in the midwest saying: "We were going to take Trevor and Emily to see this movie, and we were a little concerned with the objectionable content. We really like to keep exposure of our children to "rude and sexual humor, nudity, and language" to a reasonable amount, especially on school nights. But when we saw there was "smoking" in this movie, we decided that's just not proper viewing for a Christian family. In fact, we are planning on sending a letter to the theater manager protesting this filth."

Smoking? Goodness gracious, where will it end? Next thing you know, the Hollywood moguls will stoop to depictions of people eating hamburgers and riding bicycles without Federally approved safety helmets.

Things are getting crazy out there.

La Divina Gelateria

We visited our favorite gelato place in New Orleans, La Divina Gelateria. Gelato is the Italian version of Ice Cream, made with milk (rather than cream) and sugar. According to the New York Post, La Divina on Magazine Street in the Garden District of New Orleans has some of the finest gelato in the United States. The flavors are absolutely sublime, and are made on site from scratch from top-shelf ingredients, both local farm fare and imported spices. You won't find any Polysorbate 80 in any of their creations!

The shop is immaculately clean, and very family friendly (the owner is a member of the La Leche League). The staff is always attentive, friendly, and unhurriedly eager to share suggestions and samples.

In addition to gelato, you can get sandwiches and espressos.

La Divina is quintessentially New Orleanian. They are a sponsor of (and thus a supplier of) the satirical newspaper The New Orleans Levee ("we don't hold anything back"). To call the Levee "biting" is to describe a pitbull as "snappy."

I enjoyed a bit of prose on the tables. Though it didn't come from The Levee, it nevertheless reflects the uniquely plucky N'wahluns joie de vivre and self-deprecating sense of humor that typifies the spirit of our people.

So, if you come to New Orleans, be sure to make a trip to Magazine Street for a divine experience. Meanwhile, you can vicariously enjoy a bit of a NOLA "dessert" from a table at La Divina:

Living Well is the Best Vendetta

Tony Soprano was a great Bacchus, but he's got this revenge thing all wrong.

Mother Nature and Uncle Sam may have tried to wash us away. The politicians and bureaucrats may be trying to tie us up with red tape. For all we know, the sky is falling too.

Who cares when you're lingering over a cold, creamy gelato and rich and authentically Italian espresso?

It doesn't matter what they try to do to to New Orleans or who's trying to do it to us. We the people declare that our beloved city is here to stay - and we're going to enjoy it to the max! So, if the frustrations of life are starting to get to you, allow us to be the balm on your wounds, the cool hand dabbing your fevered brow, the refreshing breeze whispering through the hot summer day of your aggravation.

Show the world what we're made of, treat yourself to another five minutes of divine relaxation here in La Divina.

Oprah's Religion

Thanks to my cousin Catherine for tipping me off on this.

I didn't realize how far away from the Christian faith Oprah Winfrey has drifted. Of course, Oprah is free to believe anything she wants to, but Christians (especially clergy) need to keep in mind that this is a woman whose word instantly turns authors into best sellers. She is one of the greatest shapers of philosophy and politics in popular America today.

She is also popularizing a sycretistic religion that blends elements of Christianity with Eastern paganism and Western Gnosticism, a religion that has great appeal in this day and age of relativism and self-help.

It is exactly over and against this kind of popular social religion that Issues, Etc. stood firm, giving traditional Christianity, the true Gospel, a competing voice in the media. Instead, our synod spends thousands of dollars on shallow gimmicks, like signs that purport to be written by Satan.

We had better wake up. Oprah is the new Billy Graham.

Perhaps the Most Amazing Video Ever

I would have bet any amount of money that this is a hoax. However, it has been confirmed true by the urban myth debunkers at Snopes.

It hardly seems possible what this elephant (and apparently others) can do. This video is a little glimpse into Eden, as humans and animals used to enjoy a much different communion with each other.

Be prepared to have your jaw hit the floor...

Another Disappointing Synodical "Issue"

The scandalous cancellation of Issues, Etc. is also a big blow to the pro-life movement.

I wonder if it would be possible to get signs for the front of our churches that say: "The Church of Issues, Etc." like the old Lutheran Hour signs you can still see in front of some LCMS churches.

I also have to believe that Wilken and Swartz will be nominated for the Saber of Boldness. Perhaps even Mollie Hemingway, who has a big platform at the Wall Street Journal and is not afraid to use it.

Kelly's a Hero!

I don't know whose blog this is ("Kelly's Blog"), but it's good.

This cartoon is right on the money (and I do mean "money" - since that is what seems to make this synod go round). Click below to blow it up. (Well, not "blow it up" in the sense of what Pres. Kieschnick would like to do with it, but rather in the sense of "enlarge").

And lest we forget, our confessions refer to arrogant church bureaucrats who oppose the Gospel and sacrifice doctrine for money (Fanning the Flame!(tm)), popularity (Ablaze!(tm)), and power (consolidation of control and silencing dissent, e.g. Res. 8-01A) as "Antichrist. "

"This isn't your grandfather's Antichrist" one might be tempted to say.

The LCMS leadership, while claiming we are all "walking together" (synod) in reality, are treading down a very dangerous and alien path, one that a medieval cartographer might have labeled: "Hic sunt leones" ("Here there be lions"). Hopefully they will repent and start walking the other way before they are eaten (1 Peter 5:8).

Thank you, Kelly, for saying in six panels what would take me six thousand words.

By the way, 6,187 names on the petition and counting.

I just love politics...

...and I can't wait for yet another election year to be over with.

Oldest recorded voices sing again

In 1860, a Parisian scientist named Edouard-Leon Scott de Martinville (1817-1879) "recorded" the human voice with a needle on soot-covered paper (a "phonautograph") for visual graphical analysis.

Little did he realize that nearly 150 years later, technology (digital scans of the soot-covered paper and a computerized "virtual stylus") would advance to the point where those recordings could be decoded and brought to life. The recorded voice of a woman singing "Au Clair de la Lune" on April 9, 1860 has been heard for the first time ever. Here is the article.

And here is a link to the MP3 file itself. It is very crude, but unmistakably a lady's voice singing the folk tune.

Astounding!