Thursday, September 14, 2006

Cockroaches and Church Bureaucrats

By the way, on the topic of our policy of being nice to cockroaches, I really do believe this is the Christian way to treat church bureaucrats.

A lot of the confessional crowd would like to stomp on them. I disagree. That just means more mess to clean up.

I say when a bureaucrat appears in your church or school, be gentle. He is one of God's creatures, and in spite of his loathsomeness, his creepyness, those menacing bug-eyes and threatening posture - someone out there loves him. He may even have a mate! He is, after all, part of the food chain. There is no need to squash him or to get ugly. Just gently lead him to the door, and let him fly away unharmed.

For the most part, they're harmless. They really can't close your church, or make you ordain women, or force you to put a big Ablaze!(tm) billboard out front. Mostly, they just flap their wings and annoy us by their very uninvited and annoying presence.

Just like palmetto bugs.

Now, there's a killer sermon illustration (note to Dr. Fickenscher...). ;-)


Twice Burned said...

Ah, yes... palmetto bugs. My dad used to loop a rubber band over this thumb and forefinger and shoot them down. Much more fun than a can of raid, let me tell ya!

How about that? Can I shoot the church bureaucrats with rubber bands? I promise not to aim for the whites of their eyes.

Father Hollywood said...

Dear 2X:

I think I could live with that. They should have plenty of paper clips, rubber bands, and white out lying around.

Of course, these days, a thwack with a rubber band might land you in court.

In second thought, just make fun of them, or ignore them. They have no sense of humor, and they love attention and accolades, so these really are the best ways to fight back.

Think like a citizen of Soviet Russia. There are small ways to resist.

I'm still wondering if palmetto bugs can be crawfish substitutes. I think I need to go to West Louisiana to find the answer.