Late-Breaking News from the Vatican!

Vatican City - As part of the Vatican's ongoing ecumenical efforts, Pope Benedict XVI has adopted the Ablaze!(tm) program from the Lutheran Church - Missouri Synod, a small American Protestant sect. LCMS archbishop, Gerard Kieschnicht, president of the movement, created the Ablaze!(tm) concept as a strategy for the struggling conservative American church body.

Vatican insiders report that talks have been engaged for several months between the Holy See and the Palace of Purple, culminating in His Holiness' encyclical entitled: Inflammatus Non Programma, which opens with the words: Inflammatus!(tm) non programma, sed motus est ("Ablaze!(tm) is not a program, but a movement").

According to a highly placed LCMS Ablaze!(tm) expert, Father Paul Byzell, Ablaze!(tm) is an LCMS marketing tool.

In the Vatican's version of the program, Inflammatus!(tm), the goal is to reach "another billion souls" with "critical events" and post them to the papal website before the five hundredth anniversary of the Council of Trent in the year 2045.

Unlike its Protestant counterpart, the Roman Catholic "critical events" will include baptisms and other sacramental acts.