Wednesday, January 30, 2008

I Keep Winning Lotteries!

Check this out! I must be the luckiest (and richest) man on the planet. I have yet to figure out how I will use my massive wealth, but you can rest assured, I will not spend it all in one place.

Since 2006, I have won major lotteries in the Netherlands, Germany, Great Britain, and Ireland.

I have won prizes of:

$500k US,
$1M US,
550k Euros,
three prizes of 750K British pounds,
and another prize of 1M British pounds.

Let's see, all together I have won:
1.5 million American dollars, 3.5 million British pounds, and 550 thousand Euros.

I'm not even trying, and I keep getting these victory notifications. I'm not even entering, and I'm winning like there's no tomorrow! Obviously, the Lord thinks I'm doing something right. Here are all the details of all my winnings. But please don't tell the IRS! Can you imagine my liability? As those great financial analysts the Rolling Stones said: "Gimme shelter!"

My congregation need not worry - I'll be staying right here in Gretna - though I will probably build a cottage in Monte Carlo, snag a nice apartment in Manhattan, and maybe a flat in Paris. I better start talking to Creflo Dollar, Robert Tilton, Joyce Meyer, Kenneth Copeland, Benny Hinn, and Oral Roberts to find out the best private jets for the clergy to get around in. I'm new at being filthy rich.

Below are all the details of my streak of "Success-N-Life(tm)"...

On 3 August 2006, I won a lottery in Amsterdam...



We are delighted to notify you
of the result of the SPONSOR LOTERIJ AMSTERDAM quarterly award
program. In accordance with the world lottery ordnance, you authorized
as an
official lottery prize winner to immediately file in for your
claims upon receipt of this mail.
This is an online promotional program
organized by SPONSOR LOTERIJ AMSTERDAM A total number of various
individual email addresses and companies alike were entered for the
Free Lotto Automatic Subscription Ticket Game. Details were submitted
by international email service providers/marketing companies including
public service providers strictly for this exercise. No ticket was

Bear in mind that prizes will strictly be remitted to winners
that officially file in for their claims within the given time frame.
To begin your claim process, you are advised to immediately contact our
program coordinator with the details below.

Tel: +31 623 106 984

Note that all winnings must be
claimed within 10 working days from the date of this notification; any
unclaimed prize will be returned to the treasury of the organizing firm
as unclaimed prize.

(NB) You are to file in for the claim of Five
Hundred Thousand United States Dollar($500,000.00) under category "A"

Here are your winning details:
Batch Number: LN-DN0TR764
Ticket Number:
Ref Number: LN-883M09
Lucky Number: 554-20-501
Number: LN/ERS

Congratulations once more and thank you for being part
of our quarterly promotional program.

Yours truly,
Sandra Smith

Then, on 26 September 2006, I won a British lottery...

Ref: FRL0/941OWI/02
Batch: 12/25/0034

Dear Mr/Mrs/Sir/Madam:

We happily announce to you the draw of the Freelotto
International programs held on the 25th of September 2006 in
London. Your e-mail address attached to ticket number
:564 75600545 188 with Serial number 5388/02 drew the
lucky numbers: 31-6-26-13-35-7, which subsequently won
you the lottery in the 5th category.

You have therefore been approved to claim a total sum of
$1,000,000 USD (One Million United State Dollars) in cash
credited to file FRLO/9080118308/02/BST.This is from a total
cash prize of $10.000,000 USD (Ten Million United State Dollars)
shared amongst the first Ten (10) lucky winners in this

All participants were selected randomly from 'World Wide Web'
site through computer draw system and extracted from over
100,000 companies.For security reasons, you are advised to
keep your winning information confidential till your claims is
processed and money remitted to you in whatever manner you deem
fit to claim your prize. This is a part of our precautionary
measure to avoid double claiming and unwarranted abuse of this
program by some unscrupulous elements.

Note that all claims process and clearance procedures must
be duly completed early to avoid impersonation arising to
the issue of double claim. To avoid unnecessary delays and
complications, ,you are advised to keep this notice to yourself
because we shall not be responsible for any divert of funds as
a result of you disclosing your lottery award details,I hereby
advice you to report to:
within 24hours of reading this mail.

Congratulations once more from all members and staffs of
this program.

Yours faithfully,
Mrs. Teresa Eaton

Then, on 11 November 2006, I won some kind of German Microsoft lottery...


Date: 11th November, 2006
Ref Nr: MSTL/CN/2628/YT
Batch Number: 26/386/UTR.
Serial Number 25742-86
Coupon No. MSTL-146478972197

Dear Email Bearer,


Europe/America private international e-games organizers and Co-sponsors, MICROSOFT / STAATSLOTERIJ, officially bring to your notice of the final draw result of November - 2006 MICROSOFT / STAATSLOTERIJ wheel E-game which was conducted at our international corporate office complex in The Netherlands.

Most recently this foundation set up the NEW LOTTERY SCHEME to give outprizes based on COMPUTER BALLOT SYSTEM. By doing this the foundation seek to encourage the use of Internet for academic and business pursuits. It major aim is to promote music, theater, art and literature projects in the social and political arena with a focus on health, as well as science, research, and higher education. We wish to congratulate and inform you on the selection of your email coupon number which was selected among the 45 lucky consolation prize winners.

Your email ID identified with Coupon No. MSTL-146478972197 and was selected by our E-games Random Selection System (ERSS) with entries from the 50,000 different email addresses enrolled for the E-game. Your email ID was included among the 50,000 different email addresses submitted by our partner international email provider companies.

You have won a consolation cash prize of €550,000.00 (Five Hundred and fifty thousand Euros Only). The MICROSOFT / STAATSLOTERIJ Group have approved a payout of your consolation cash prize which will be remunerated directly to you by the official Payment Agency Board.

Our DUE PROCESS UNIT (DPU) will render to you complete assistance and provide additional information and processes for the claims of your consolation prize.

For due processing of your winning claim, please contact the DPU Information Officer Mr. Bill Anderson who has been assigned to assist you.

NAME: Mr. Bill Anderson

Tel: +31-620 897102

You are advised to provide him with the following information:

Phone/Fax number:
Ref Number:
Batch Number:
coupon Number:

Once again congratulations from all our staffs on your consolation prize winning, we hope you will partake in our forth coming MICROSOFT / STAATSLOTERIJ Email-games.


Anita Raynes(Mrs.).
(Group Coordinator)

Then on 28 March 2007, I won the Irish Lottery

The Irish National Online Lottery
P O Box 1010 Dublin, 11 G
Lower Dorset Street
(Customer Services)

Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

Dear Winner

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £750,000.00(GBP) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03. held on the 27th of March. 2007 in Uk.The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection
system(ess) from a database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn
from which you were selected.

The Irish National Lottery is approved by the Uk Gaming Board. In other to claim your won prize from the lottery board you are required to fill out the claims processing form and send it to our Claims Agent here in the UK with the details below:

Name Of Claims Agent: Mr. Robert Micheal
Email address :
Phone : +447011148108

Below is the claims form you are required to fill:

1.FULL NAMES:________________________
5.MARITAL STATUS:___________________
7.E-MAIL ADDRESS:_____________________________
8.TELEPHONE NUMBER:_____________________
10.AMOUNT WON:___________________________________
11. COUNTRY________________________________

Goodluck from me and members of staff of the IRISH NATIONAL LOTTERY.
Yours faithfully,
Sir Kolyn Perkins.

Online coordinator for
Sweepstakes International Program.
powered by-2007 Yahoo! Inc. All rights reserved

Not to be outdone, on 3 December 2007, the Swiss awarded me a lottery victory

P O Box 1010 Liverpool,
(Customer Services)
REF NO: SL/74/368/05
BATCH NO:SL-121-LT-11-12-05

We are pleased to inform you that your e-mail address has won the Swiss On-
line Lottery. Therefore you have been approved for a lump sum payout (
£750,000.00 ) Seven Hundred and Fifty Thousand Pounds Sterling in the Swiss On-
line Lottery program held on 1st December 2007, and released today 3rd
December 2007. The online cyber lotto draws was conducted from an exclusive
list of 21,000 email addresses of individual and corporate bodies picked by an
advanced automated random computer search from the internet, no tickets were
sold. After this automated computer ballot, your e-mail ID emerged as one of
the winners in the 3rd category.

You are therefore been approve to lump sum of £750,000.00(GBP). To file and
claim your winning, please contact our Fiduciary Agent for the processing of
your winning particulars, with the following information's below.

To file for your claim, please contact our
United Kingdom Lottery Fiduciary
Contact Person: MR Micheal Anderson
Telephone Contact: +447031946384

Provide him with the information below:
1.Full Name:..................................
2.Full Address:.............................
9.Country Of Residence....................

Congratulations once more from all members and staff of this program.

Mrs. Rose Wood
Swiss On-Line Lottery.

On 18 January 2008, I hit the U.K. National Lottery...

P O Box 1010, 3b Olympic Way,
Sefton Business Park,
Aintree, Liverpool,
L30 1RD

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize
of £1,000,000.00(British Pounds) held on the 17th,of January,2008
in London, Your e-mail address was attached to TICKET No: 56475600545188
and your REF No:UK/9420X2/68.

The selection process was carried out through random selection
in Our computerized email selection system (ess) from a database of
over 100,000 email Addresses drawn from which you were selected.

Contact our fiduciary agent for claims with:

Mr. Edward Fring

Fill the below:

1. Name: 2. Address 3. Marital Status: 4. Occupation: 5. Age: 6. Sex:
7. Nationality: 8. Country of Residence: 9. Telephone Number:


Stella Roberts (Mrs.)

Finally, today, 30 January 2008, I won the Irish National lottery.

Ref: UK/9420X2/68
Batch: 074/05/ZY369

Dear Winner

This is to inform you that you have been selected for a cash prize of £750,000.00(GBP) in cash credited to file KTU/9023118308/03. held on this Month January 2008.The selection process was carried out through random selection in our computerized email selection system(ess)from a
database of over 250,000 email addresses drawn from which you were selected.The Irish National Lottery is approved by the Uk Gaming Board. In other to claim your won Amount £750,000.00(GBP) prize from the lottery board you are required to contact our Claims Agent here in the UK with
the details below:

1.Full Legal names 2.Occupation 3.Tel. Number 4.Country
Name Of Claims Agent: Mr David James
Email address
Goodluck from me and members of staff of the IRISH NATIONAL LOTTERY.

Yours faithfully,
Sir Phillip Johnson.


Lisa said...

I know what you are trying to do here. May God somehow touch your heart. According to all of the email notifications I have received I have won much more than you, yet never received so much as a penny. God has blessed me more spiritually & financially by listening to His Word taught by the pastors & preachers you have mentioned. God blesses those who bless others with His Word. I feel they deserve the homes they live in, the cars they drive, the jets they own. How many people can YOU PROVE to have helped? Prayerfully yours in NC

Lisa said...

A few more things, if you believe the Bible to be God's true Word... you can indeed have what you say IF it is according to His will. God loves His children much more than those of us on Earth could ever love our children. It makes perfect sense that he would bless them above & beyond what we could bless our children. He blesses the faithful & those that truly love Him. Do not be deceived, the devil mocks & also trys to mimic God. He gives wealth to those he USES for his pourpose. The difference is, God loves His children & wants them to prosper, live in good health, & have the desires of their hearts when they love & follow Him. Satan wants to use anyone who will allow themselves to be used to stand against God & dishonor Him. He may make it SEEM like he is prospering them, but then one day he will show his true colors. The devil comes to kill, steal, & destroy.