Rated "M" for "Madness"

The rating for the film Avatar reads as follows:

"Rated PG-13 for intense epic battle sequences and warfare, sensuality, language and some smoking."

Smoking.

Yeah, we were okay bringing our little guy to see the "epic battle scenes and warfare," and the "sensuality." But that "smoking" thing was a deal breaker. What kind of parents do they think we are, anyway? I mean, this whole "smoking" thing could give the kid nightmares - if not turn him into a crackhead before the credits roll. Thank God for that tip-off! Whew, that was a close one!

I predict that in a few years, we will see such ratings as these:

• "Rated R for explicit sexuality, severed human heads, and a scene of donut consumption."
• "Rated PG for cartoon violence, implied sensuality, and prayer."
• "Rated PG-13 for disturbing scenes of graphic violence, language, and historic footage of a parking lot without handicapped spaces."
• "Rated NC-17 for mild language and advocacy of a return to the gold standard."

Well, on the bright side, given the way things are going, Alice in Wonderland will soon be re-released as a documentary.